Introductions: A by-gone eraI feel like it takes a little while for any new medium, in one form or another, to really get comfortable with itself. For example, early films were That era that back when YouTube was populated primarily by AMVs and cat videos (more so than usual I mean)? That era just after we were just getting over the appeal of flash animations, and internet videos were starting to become a thing that people other than teenagers enjoyed. It feels like forever ago, doesn’t it? Makes you feel old, doesn't it? Still, though, there are some shows and personalities from that era that managed to last longer than the bubble bursting. So-called internet celebrities like: Yahtzee Croshaw, the Nostalgia Critic, the Angry Nintendo Videogame Nerd, Little Kuriboh, I could go on. And like the emergence of any new medium, it was during this time that people were really experimenting with what could be done with internet videos, particularly sites like the Escapist came about. Now, while the Escapist may as well be a second rate Kotaku these days, back in the day, it was the center of such genuinely unique takes on the video game genre as “There Will be Brawl,” “Unskippable,” “Zero Punctuation,” (which stars the aforementioned Crowshaw), "Escape to the Movies," and “Extra Credits." They also gave us one of the more unique internet series this side of Carmilla: a strange, slightly melodramatic series called Drawn by Pain. What's it about?Drawn by Pain is easily one of the best pieces of cinema I have ever seen.--Ten Star review on IMDb Drawn by Pain tells the tale of one Emily Waters (no relation to a certain film maker who regularly had Divine in his pictures), and her unique gift and curse, her “pain.” You see, the day her abusive father killed mother died, and her father came to beat her, all the anger and rage she felt manifested itself into a living version of the heroine she would draw in her spare time, and kills her father. Fast forward a decade and she’s a grown woman, who spends her time fighting what she sees as injustice (which apparently includes soliciting prostitution) by drawing upon her “pain.” One day, though, she loses control of her pain and it attacks those who don’t deserve it. Sounds like an interesting premise, right? Well... "If you liked Catwoman then you'll love this treat"--One star review on IMDb Yeah, let me just get this right out the way out of the gate: “Drawn by Pain” is not the greatest internet serial out there. Compared to the likes of "The Guild,” “Carmilla,” "RWBY," or even "Adult Wednesday Addams," it's a second-rate mess whose IMDb page has barely been touched. The acting is stilted, and the writing is hokey, with a young woman not going to a single therapist despite both of her parents dying in a single day. Waters herself feels dull and emotionless, but not even in a fun, in a "Troll 2" sort of way. In fact, if I were I a lesser person, I’d recommend this bad boy for a so-bad-it’s-good, snarkfest a-la the room or Birdemic. The characterization of several characters is a flat as a wile e. coyote after a particularly ill advised scheme, such as grown men acting like school-yard bullies, which while used as a reminder of the way Emily herself has been tormented as a child, is still ridiculous to behold. Her father is also above and beyond the call for one dimensional, what with his penchant for just walking around all day waiting for an opportunity to beat Emily or argue with her mother. This is an especially large issue seeing as her father is the primary catalyst for her powers in the first place. This is why Man on Fire is such a good revenge flick. We get to know Denzel Washington and Dakota Fanning’s characters, and how Denzel is ultimately someone who’s living without a purpose for a quite a while. The story is also littered with plotholes. After watching her father murder her mother, no one apparently thought to give this girl help. We know this because Emily only gets herself some psychological help over the course of the series proper, meaning that at no point did the little girl who lost both of her parents in a single day get a single second of counseling. Gee, that’s not gonna lead to some issues down the line. All of that being said, however, there is an undeniable spark to this series. While the music can be a bit cheesy at times, it has an undeniable haunting quality to it, reflecting Emily’s own confusion and anxiety. The drawing aspects of her powers, her “pain”, lends itself wonderfully to the symbolism of Emily’s seething ill-at-ease. This is a beautiful mess filled to the brim with pure, unadulterated potential. This is a tale of trauma and how it turns us into monsters. And how it is only when we truly face our problems with others, others who care for us and who are willing to be there for us, that we can harness our own pain. It’s a tale of how our anger and rage can hurt others just as much, if not more, than it hurts us. It also has, what I like to call, a latent fandom. These are the people who still remember the likes of Twin Peaks or the Prisoner. The people who still remember and appreciate something even when pop-culture has moved onto something completely different, such as how hundreds of people's head popped up when they heard that The Handmaid’s Tale was getting an adaptation. These are the people that come to the surface whenever something like Lord of the Rings or Watchmen or even West World comes out. These people who, even if they’re just moved by nostalgia, will say something to the effect of “oh yeah, that was a thing I liked back in the day.” Or perhaps some long lost memory of it pops into their mind like a shadow from the past. This is especially pertinent to DbP because the fandom was practically integral to being a part of the series. Fans did everything from provide the aforementioned haunting soundtrack to even starring in several episodes. In other words, there is a definite potential for this series to be something more than a cheesy-as-all-hell mid-2000s schlock fest. Even if most of what I found about it online wasn’t older than 2010. Recommendations for the AdaptationNeedless to say, this series is going to need a massive, and I mean massive, overhaul, especially in the writing department. Characters like Emily’s father are going to need a proper motivation for their actions if they’re going to be more than just “the reason for Emily’s pain.” We’re also going to need at least some sense of what she went through as a child after her parent’s death, outside of “being bullied,” that turned her into the brutal vigilante murdering random guys just for soliciting hookers. It also wouldn’t hurt to have Douglas, the one person who befriends her over what has undoubtedly been an exceedingly lonely life, be someone from work, or possibly a roommate she finds through craigslist, as opposed to just some stranger who talks to her randomly, because, yeah, women will regularly talk to random strangers who talk to them. This will make his observations of her day to day activities significantly less creepy than if he was just some random schmo sitting on a bench in Central Park. Better yet, he could be the doorman at the apartment she lives at, which will give just as much excuse as previously mentioned. As for the source of her powers, I would thoroughly recommend not giving a clear answer as to where she got her powers from. After all, doing so would take away from what arguably the main strength of the series: psychological trauma given form via the various drawn various monsters and weapons. Lastly, while not a major concern, I would recommend remixing the original soundtrack. Now, I’m not saying it needs to be completely removed or even needs a complete overhaul, but I think a bit of work could be done to add to the haunting, Silent Hill esc. feeling of it. If it does end up getting changed, I'd also make sure to keep the core of what made the original intact, not unlike what Mick Gordon did with the Doom soundtrack in the 2016 game. If you're interested in checking out Drawn by Pain, you can watch the entirety of the director's cut below, assuming you still have a good hour and a half left to kill, or just the first episode if you just wanna taste. Here's a link to a playlist with the original 12 episodes if you wanna experience it the way it was originally intended.
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Introductions: The adaptation we deserveI think it was around early spring of 2016 that I decided to read a bit of Worm. I’d first heard of worm not from friends, but from the subreddits “/r/respect threads” and “/r/whowouldwin.” Now, I know what you’re thinking, and yeah, not exactly the best place to get a recommendation on reading material, but see, here’s the thing. I figured that it was something on the internet, and with that in mind and not knowing about Subspace Emissary, figured that it would be a short read. After reading for a little while, I discovered two things: that it wasn’t a short (roughly 13 million words, which is a few million above the entirety of the Harry Potter septet) and that I couldn’t stop reading it. In fact, whenever I’d go online to read a bit, I’d find that I’d keep going, up until the point that I’d read a good several thousand words and hadn’t stopped, like a particularly engaging open world game. Eventually, it got to the point where I said “fuck it,” and decided to just burn through it like there was no tomorrow, which let me tell you, was something I should've done at the beginning, because by that point, it was just a little tricky to keep track of everything. By the end of October, I'd finished the bad boy up, and felt that combination of relief and despair that comes with finishing something that you simultaneously love yet find overwhelming Now, if you’re an avid reader, I know what you’re thinking. And yeah, just because something is infinitely readable, is naturally no guarantee that it will be any good. I mean, heck, some of the most vapid, uninteresting books make it so you're unable to put them down. In the case of Worm, however, it isn’t. In fact, if you ask me, Worm is probably one of the greatest deconstructions of the so-called superhero genre this side of watchmen. What starts off as the tale of a young woman trying her best to get in deep with a gang of so-called super-villains and trying to balance her secret with trying to learn some good dirt, becomes a sprawling epic discussing the ideas of good and evil, and how far someone will go to fight for the greater good. It is an epic tale that is masterfully told, with a female protagonist who makes Katniss Everdeen look like Bella Swan (yes, I did go there). DisclaimerI suppose I should back up here a bit and mention two things. The first is that it has, admittedly, been a bit of a while since I read Worm, and while I'll try to keep the info as accurate and spoiler-free as possible, this is something to be kept in mind. The second is that a sequel has recently come about, (called Ward) which I'll admit to not having started, seeing as how I have whole mess of physical books in my backlog that I really want to get through before I start on another epic piece of fiction like that (the last one was longer than all seven Harry Potter books put together for context). While I'm sure there are plenty of things that tie into Worm proper in Ward, I can't say for certain what they are yet. So for the sake of my own sanity, I've decided to keep my focus on Worm proper, seeing as how I have the most knowledge about it. There's also the very real chance that even if I did feel like including Ward on here, that there would be significant changes here and there so as to leave it completely moot at some point. So wait, What is this?"What the hell had I been thinking, wanting to become a superhero?" I suppose I should back up a bit and describe just what, exactly, Worm is. Written in a serial format from June 2011 to November 2013, by one John McCrae, or Wildbow as he is more well known on the interwebs, Worm is the tale of one Taylor Hebert, a young woman who, after a rather brutal bullying incident, acquires the ability to control insects. After her first night out as a “superheroine” when she literally takes down a what could be described as the hulk if he became a dragon, she’s found by a group of supervillains and decides that she’d take it upon herself to become a part of the group, so that she could spy on them for the “good guys” (I’ll get into why that’s a joke later), she quickly finds in them friends. Part of it is that her best recently became her worst enemy right out of the blue and has made it her personal life mission to make taylor’s day to day life at school a living hell. Needless to say, she finds it increasingly difficult to do this so-called mission of her’s. Now, while the set-up does admittedly sound a little cliché, things become increasingly less so when a gient monster who runs crazy fast ruins her hometown of Brockton Bay, and she learns that the heros aren’t quite as the heroic as they make themselves out to be, whether intentionally or not. From there were learn more and more about Taylor’s world and just how messed up it is. Not in that the heroes act with reckless abandon, but in the fact that Taylor's world is on the brink of destruction, and that some of the most "evil" of people are simply doing what they're doing to keep the world from going straight to hell. Another great thing about this series are the powers that are given to the various superpowered individuals, here called “parahumans”. While it does have some of the expected tropes—a guy who can fly and shoots lazers, the ability produce shadows—many of them are either unique takes on old classics or entirely original. One character can, for example, teleport himself, but leaves a clone for about 15 seconds, just enough time to use said clone as a kamikaze soldier. One person can turn into an intangible thing so long as no one's looking. Another can use math to practically predict the outcome of any fight, and then there’s the guy who can freeze an object temporarily, making it into either a extremely powerful projectile or temporarily protecting a friend or civilian. And then there are what are, in universe, called tinkers. They’re the supergeniouses of this world. They’re the Lex Luthors, the Ironmen, the Dexter, Boy Geniuses etc. of this world. They start with an idea and then it becomes form in a sort of reverse of the scientific process. Each tinker specializes in something, bombs, lazer beams, medicine, cramming more stuff into a small space. One of my favorite villains is a tinker who specializes in biomes who lost his family to one of the three eldritch abominations roaming around this particular universe, and who makes his body self-reliant and who lives only to kill. Wormbuilding: World-building at it's finest“I always knew there was something wrong, underneath it all, but there were bigger things to focus on. You finish dealing with one Endbringer attack or a potential war with parahuman attacks on both sides, it demands all of your focus. You’re left drained, dealing with the event or the aftermath, and then you need to recuperate, you have an organization to manage. There’s never a moment where you can stop, take a deep breath, and then say, ‘now is the moment where I address that nagging doubt I had the other day’. Now is the moment I call so-and-so out on that less-than-complete truth they used while we were elbow-deep in Indonesian cyborg super-soldiers.” If the Warcraft film has taught us anything, it’s that having an expansive, unique universe is only part of the equation. A world is nothing without a good story to tell within it. And let me tell you, Worm deliver’s in the character and story department. After all, there’s a very real reason I’d argue that this is the greatest deconstruction of the superhero genre this side of Watchmen, and it’s not just because of Taylors ambiguous hero or villain nature. While the story itself is definitely a little wrought early on—burgeoning teen romance, teaming up with others to deal with some major threat, that sort of thing—things become increasingly interesting after the eldritch abomination fight that levels Taylor's home town, and the introduction of the Slaughter House 9. In fact, I would argue that, as of recent memory, Worm has to be the best world introduction this side of Harry Potter. You see, the challenge with a really good world you want to introduce ideas and concepts at a rate that they won’t overwhelm and confuse the readers, something which the Wachowskis seemed to have forgotten about entirely when they started making Jupiter Ascending. This is why in many a fantasy story, the protagonist is someone young who’s just living an ordinary life and then finds themself in some sort of magical land, whether due to a magical wardrobe or a trio of homeless old ladies decided that it was now or never. It makes world building into a metaphor for growing up and coming to understand the world at large, something that the Harry Potter series embraced wholeheartedly. Just as Harry was learning more and more about how the Wizarding World, and by extension us, the readers, works, he’s also learning more and more about the prejudices and inequalities present within it. It doesn't hurt, either, that Harry goes to a school, meaning that, as the years go by, the more the rules of the magic in this universe start to unfurl. You see this even with fantastical protagonists like Bilbo and Frodo (though, to be fair, the Hobbits do strike me as the middle earth equivalent of suburbanites). While they start out in the Shire, they’re eventually dragged (both metaphorically and literally) into a world of magic, wizards, and eldritch rings that contain the essences of evil beings. Worm is no different. The more Taylor learns about the world she inhabits, the more we come to realize just how deep the theme of doing the wrong things for the right reasons run. And the deeper we get into this world, the more and more we learn just how close Taylor’s world is to oblivion (as if the revelation that highly populated cities are regularly attacked by a trio of eldritch abominations wasn’t clue enough). This is a world filled the brim with roaming bands of murder hobos, multiple universes, and secret organizations that perform unethical experiments on human subjects, and while you may need a few flashcards to keep track of the onslaught of characters that are sent your way, it all feels revealed in a completely natural fashion. Another thing to keep in mind whenever one is creating a universe is to try and make sure that the themes of the story proper. This is another thing that the Harry Potter novels are great at. The themes of classism and racism permeate both the talk of the Durselys and many members of the wizarding world proper. Wizards even have slurs, something which adds a powerful element to the anti-prejudice undertones. In a way, the wizarding world didn’t really need all that much pushing to become the oppressive anti-muggle society it became when Voldemorte took over. And as ridiculous as the Inheritance cycle novels can be at times, they at least make it so that the Urgal, the not-orcs of that particular universe, become allies with Eragon against Galbatorix (wow, does that name sound cheesy in retrospect), thus enforcing the idea that everyone had to band together to take down Mr. Scaryname. This is something that even Tolkien had an issue with when it came to writing the LotR serie, what with an entire species of "evil" beings (fun fact: Tolkien apparently a rather large Neo-Nazi following, as much as that most likely makes him role over in his grave) This is why making an expanded universe for the Star Wars movies is tricky. The entire series is inherently based upon the idea that there is a good and evil side, and about the conflict within all of us to decide whether to join the good or the bad, which is made significantly easier when the choices are space Nazis or the plucky resistance. Worm, though, ties the themes and motifs of it’s universe perfectly into the themes of the story that’s being told. Just as the story reflects themes of getting caught up in the flow of events, basic themes of conflict and how communication is integral to life, and just what it means to do the wrong thing for the right reasons, so too does the multiverse of Worm itself. The more we learn about the institutions, and more importantly people, of this universe, the more we come to discover that powers in this world means that you’re just destined to for more trouble in life. However, whereas the aforementined Watchmen commented on how being a veritable god can slowly but surely isolate you from the people around you, Worm sort of goes in the opposite direction. Whereas Doctor Manhattan may have been becoming more and more far gone from mankind, the capes of worm take the opposite approach. They’re just people who use the abilities they have to make themselves appear more so. It doesn't help that “capes” in this universe get their powers during especially traumatizing events in their lives. Of course, having a constant reminder of your time being used as a human land-mine detector, or of how adoptive mother was this close to murdering the only thing you ever gave a shit about in life isn’t the most conducive way to get over one’s past, especially when said constant reminder comes in the form any kind of weapon you want or turn dogs into eldritch abominations. Things aren’t much better for many of the so-called “thinkers,” individuals who view the world in completely different ways from normal people. Maybe they have super-powered intuition, which permanently turns them off sex, or maybe they have an exceptionally organized view of the world to the point of being able to how to make trap doors and various other killing machines in wreckage, but also have an extreme case of OCD. As anyone who has ever watched any of the DCAU will tell you, super-powers plus psychological scarring very rarely go well, and a universe full of that combination is only expected to become a crucible of conflict (which is another major theme throughout the story). And then there's Taylor herself. Taylor Hebert: She who would make Bella Swan's Head Explode"If you're lucky, Imp slits your throat with you none the wiser, or Regent has one of your underlings stab you in the back, and you go quick. If you're unlucky, Bitch's dogs tear you to shreds, and it's a long, drawn-out, painful process. If you're very unlucky, you get the worst of both worlds, and you deal with me." In my book, Taylor Hebert has to be one of the most badass leading ladies in any piece of fiction to date, this side of Wonder Woman with a mastery of the Fist of the North Star. While she may only have insects at her disposal in a world full of unstoppable monsters, flying bricks and eldritch abominations, she knows how to use them in ways that are significantly more flexible than most of the “superman” types she comes across. As I mentioned before she is genuinely creative with her powers, and is exceptionally badass. She uses her bugs as a sixth sense to "see" in environments where there's no light, turns them into copies of herself to confuse enemies, or make ropes of spider silk. She even created her own costume out of black widow silk, which was thicker and more lightweight than kevlar. She's resourceful, too. The second time she faced the aforementioned dragon guy, she dips an insect into an injured cape's blood which just so happened to have the same effect as the world's dankest weed and then touched the insect to the guy's eye, effectively knocking him out. That being said, what keeps her from going into full blown mary sue territory is the fact that we get the very real feeling that she barely has any control over her own destiny for upwards of two thirds of the story. For the most part, she just goes along with the direction of her fellow undersiders or what have you. It doesn’t hurt either that there’s a very real feeling for many of the fights that Taylor’s facing an almost inhuman force, whether they be the aforementioned fucking dragon guy, or the cybernetic mute who’s perfectly suited to fighting her, or the eldritch abomination that flattened her hometown. She’s also been known to not think too hard about her own safety or own well being when going into a fight, leading to at least one concussion and several hours without sleep (though I will admit that she has the sort of resolve I haven't seen out of a fictional character since I read Berzerk). What’s more, she hardly looks like the type to be a badass supervillain. While she does have a rather intimidating looking costume that she wears, her physique is about the farthest from superhuman. She’s skinny as a scarecrow and apparently has the mouth for it, and while some of this can be attributed to her adolescence (she’s only fifteen when the story begins proper), she’s takes it rather personal and keeps her hair out nice and long. And while she may not have risen from extreme poverty like Katniss Everdeen, she makes up for it by going from lowly, bullied teenage girl, to one of the most (metaphorically) powerful crime lords in the country over the course of half of the series. She’s tough, crafty, determined, and willing to make the hard sacrifices when the time comes, a perfect remedy for a world that’s still trying to get the taste of Bella Swan and Anastasia Steele (Christ all mighty, even their names sound ineffectual). Adaptation RecommendationsWLet’s not mince words here: Worm is gonna need the budget of something like Game of Thrones or the Walking Dead if it’s going to be given it’s due, and not just due to Taylors bug powers. The series regularly giant dogs that the Undersiders ride into the various battles they get themselves into. There’s are also several characters who are… less than human. A metallic man with a shapeshifting body, a woman who’s just a head with a whole host of tentacles, and even a young woman who rides a teddy bear around town. It doesn’t help that things pretty much start out crazy, what with the giant dragon man, and people riding giant dogs and ironman wannabes coming straight out of the blue in the first part of the story. The trickiest thing, though, at least in my book, would definitely be how to properly pace a show based on Worm. The trick with Worm is that it’s split into thirty “arcs,” each of which have roughly ten chapters or so, each of which are about 3,000-5,000 words in length. It doesn’t help that Wildbow crams in random fight scenes here and there so as to do his best to keep the readers' attention, with the occasional interlude to focus on a different character. While this format does work in it’s original format of a bi-weekly internet serial, it makes adaptation into different formats slightly tricky, up to and including the creation of printed versions. Another major issue is that first major chunk of the first arc is devoted to showing how hard taylor has it at school, not to mention how much shit get’s dumped on her on a regular basis. And while we do get a good feel for how influential capes are at this time, we don’t really get much action outside of that. My recommendation would be to start with the introduction of Scion, the very first "cape" or at least when he says his first word, sparking the beginning of the “heroic age”. And from there, skip ahead to where the web series begins proper. Another major place where pacing would be tricky would be the introduction of the Slaughterhouse nine, which each take up a chapter in and of themselves. My feeling is that this would work best as a TV show, as I may or may not have made clear, so I would recommend that a single episode be relegated to their introduction. This actually should work out pretty well, because we’re introduced to each of them through the way in which they contact the person who they see fit to be the newest member of the nine (read: who they choose to be tormented and abused by the others while in what’s left of Brockton Bay), and the manner in which each member is introduced is very much unique. Lastly, there’s a particularly large time skip about two quarters of the way through, which may be a bit tricky, especially seeing as how a lot happens over that period of time. I suppose an entire episode devoted to montage could help with that, but lest it’s handled delicately, it could end poorly. As for casting, this is gonna sound like a bit of a cheap shot, but I think that the party from Stranger things should lend their talents to this particular adaptation. Right out the gate, I'd recommend that Taylor be played by none other than the Millie Bobbie Brown. While she doesn’t fit Tayler’s description to a t, she has a masterful grasp of the craft, especially given her young age, and at the risk of sounding cynical, by the time the darkside of Hollywood rears it’s ugly head in her direction, she’ll have lost just enough “innocence” to capture taylor’s combination of hope, cynicism, and brutality. Caleb Mclaghlan could definitely work as the intimidating level headed Grue, though whether or not he'll have the physique for it is yet. Noah Schapp could definitely work as the chill yet secretly sociopathic Regent, given his innocent appearance. Sadie Sink could probably work as Tattletale (though some fans would undoubtedly be butthurt over the decision to change the character from blonde to a ginger). Dakota fanning could also possibly work, although the Dawson casting might be a little jarring. Bitch will be a bit trickier, due in no small part to her build. See, she’s a very muscular young-woman, almost butch to a degree. My thinking is someone not unlike Gwendoline Christie, though obviously younger, seeing as how Dawson Casting will only get you so far. As for supporting cast, I’d making Gaten Materazzo into the character Theo, aka Golem later on, along with Jon Hamm as the sleazy head of neo-Nazi gang, Empire 88, Keiser, or possibly Corey Stoll, and Sophie Headly as either Theo’s adoptive mother, Purity, and possibly Taylor’s underling and confidant Sierra. Lucy Lui, I’m thinking would make either a great Bakuda, a master bomb maker with an ego problem. I was thinking that Aiden Gillen could play either interim baddie, Coil, or possibly even main baddie Jack Slash himself. While Gillen may be more typecast as sleazy businessman or adviser types—which fits perfectly with Coil’s character—I think that his skinny appearance and general experience with baddies would work perfectly with the almost cartoonishly evil Jack Slash. Well, either him or Jude Law, though he might a stretch. Oh, and Hamm may also work as the aforemnentioned Coil. Lastly, I’d love, love, to see Doug Jones as Slaughterhouse nine member, Mannequin. Jones is a very physical actor, something with is integral to a character who has gone out of his way to never, ever communicate with anyone outside of a hand gesture here or there or the occasional broken keyboard keys. Oh, and one last thing, and this will probably be a little controversial to some of the fans, but I'm of the opinion that it would probably be wise to at least either change the name, or at the very least give it a subtitle like "parahumans" or such. Why do you think bungie subtitled the first Halo Combat evolved? Because, well, Halo sounds like a silly name, and Worm doesn't sound quite like "The Walking Dead" or "Game of Thrones," or "Black Mirror." What I'm getting at is that I think it could use something a bit... catchier. Possibly a title like "Parahumans: Worm" or such Linkages and suchIf you're interested to see how off my opinions on how an adaptation should be handled, feel free to click the button at the bottom, or just click these words. There's also a fan-made Worm: Audiobook for those who are feeling beyond lazy and just want to listen to shit instead of read it. I'll include a link to the youtube version below, as well as a link to download the audiobook version, both in button and link form. Bonus: Fan Fiction Recommendation: The TECHNOQUEEN (krakathoom)She actually said harrumph. Who did that? Who actually said harrumph? THE TECHNO QUEEN. THE TECHNO QUEEN said harrumph. Dennis honestly wondered if he was in love. As a bonus completely unrelated to Worm proper, I’d be remiss to talk about Worm without bringing up the TECHNOQUEEN (krakathoom), though whether anyone should adapt it if and when Worm becomes a thing proper is entirely up to a fan community.
So here’s the thing about Worm. It’s got a very real cult following online, and what has to be one of the more active fanbases with regards to a property, with fan-fiction, theories, and such rivaling even the likes of Harry Potter and Star Wars. So, naturally, like any a good fan base, it’s only fitting that there be a particularly large fan-fiction community at large. Now, I don’t pretend to be the biggest connosoire of fan-fiction—the major’s that I’ve read are My Immortal, at least one of the ShakespeareHemmingway Garfield stories, First Encounters, and a piece of 30H—and while I’m certainly no connosoire of Worm fan fiction—of which, there is a whole subreddit devoted—though, I think many in the community will agree with me when I say that one of the best Worm Fan-fictions is undoubtedly THE TECHNOQUEEN (krakathoom). I think the best way to describe THE TECHNOQUEEN (krakathoom) would be like saying THE TECHNOQUEEN (krakathoom) is to Worm what The Adam West Batman Series is to the Dark Knight. The kitschy, cheesy, hilarious version that, while not anywhere near as deep or profound as the other, is nonetheless hilarious. For those of you not a part of the worm fandom, allow me to roughly sum up the premise of the THE TECHNOQUEEN (krakathoom). So, when Taylor ends up getting her powers, instead of acquiring the ability to control insects, she becomes what’s known as a “Tinker.” And with her newfound ability to create various technologies, she styles herself into the hamtacular, slightly ineffectual (though don’t say that to her face) TECHNOQUEEN (krakathoom), who’s evil schemes include things like turning all of the ice-cream in a several mile radius into broccoli, and making game shows for various capes to participate in. And in case you’re wondering, the reason there’s a thunderclap before her name because she invented a device to produce one whenever she The thing that worm, there is a very real sense that, in spite of being labeled a “villain,” Taylor very much tries to be a decent person, helping out others , ets., etc. The TECHNOQUEEN (krakathoom) takes the exact opposite approach. While she plays up the “would make a james bond villain laugh at how ridiculous your scheme is” she’s actually kinda, sorta ineffectual, and practically a hero, if only because she manages to accidentally kill off nine of the most powerful villains in that particular universe. It doesn’t hurt just how self aware the series as a whole is. What’s hilarious is that her cheesiness seems to infect the entirety of the universe, with such things as wearing a fedora and trenchcoat as a proper disguise and a character being hung upside down for no apparent reason. For example, where as the story arcs in Worm have names like "scarab" and “extinction,” the TECHNOQUEEN (krakathoom) has arc names like “Ham and Cheese” or “BRIAN BLESSED”. Lastly, it contains the phrase “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of being a mother fucking centaur.” I think what I’m essentially saying here is that I would thoroughly recommend it once you’ve at least gotten to arc 20, seeing as how that’s when THE TECHNOQUEEN (krakathoom) tapers off. As I'm sure you can see, there's also a button to go to the forum that contained the original THE TECHNOQUEEN (krakathoom), though I should warn you it's a bit of a pain in the butt, due to the spread out nature of the original's release. So if anyone ever studies the mythologies of various world cultures, they’ll no doubt come across this idea that there are beings who have two primary characteristics. For one, they’ll be “dead” and/or they consume the life force of those around you. Perhaps they’ve died and have been afflicted by some sort of darkness or demon and hunt the living. Or perhaps they’re demons and they’re out to consume your flesh or take your life force. If any of these descriptions sound familiar, it may have something to do with the fact that vampiures and zombies have more than a few similarities with each of these particular types of characteristics. Now, while what constitutes a “vampire” is definitely something that could be said to be up for debate, I’d argue that these entities, whose presence, I’d argue are almost as universal as the Hero’s Journey. Something that can be found in almost all cultures, albeit in much more varied forms than the Hero’s Journey, but is nonetheless is present. So without further ado, let’s get this gravy train going. It's christmas time and I still haven't finished this bad boy off. My procrastination has reached an overload and I've got family coming next week and I should probably get as much of this done as possible. Disease, or how people coped before it was a concept.The most popular explanation for many a natural phenomenon back in the day was early religion. The reason there was lightening was because of a god, the reason our crops failed was that the gods weren't appeased. And while these days that’s what we have conspiracy theories for, I’d argue that the life taker, the early vampires and zombies, were the result of people trying their damnedest to try and figure out why children would die young. It also served as, to a degree, try to gain some sort of control over it. If there’s one thing that’s genuinely scary, it’s, as any parent, will tell you, it’s not being able to do something, anything, about your problems, whether they be minor or major. Take Succubi/incubi for example. The major reason for their creation, at least, initially was as an explanation for sleep paralysis. Ask anyone who’s ever experienced sleep paralysis, and they’ll tell you that it is freaky. You’re awake, but you can’t for the life of you tell your limbs that. Chances are, you’ll be alone when it happens, and you can’t for the life of you say anything. All you can do is whisper just a little bit and hope that someone will hear you. You’re wishing for some sort of stimulation, any really, just to get your body moving. Even these days, when we have scanners and sleep observation machines, we still don't entirely get the cause of sleep, much less sleep paralysis. As someone who's suffered from the occasional hallucination associated with sleep paralysis, it can the special kind of creepy that can only Back in the day, before we realize just how much of an impact the brain can have on the body, the best explanation one could possibly think of for this sort of thing was to say that it was some sort of demon sucking the life out of you like a leech. Even horrifying things need to have an explanaiton. It's part of the old human curiosity, and when an explanation isn't forthcoming, we resort to what I like to call alchemy though processes. It's when we rely less on evidence and more on the symbolic meanings of certain things. Like, this mercury is acting like magic, clearly it's something that has some sort of magical properties. Even more obscure diseases, such as porphyria, a disease that can cause horrible repercussions unless you drink blood, could very well have been explanations for what we now call vampirism. This symbolism has, naturally, made its way into the modern symbolism of the vampire tale thanks to Dracula, or at least Dracula's predecessors. For while Dracula may be the definitive vampire tale, it is, like 1984 with the dystopia, the one that popularized many of the tropes, as well as canonizing much of the symbolism and motifs associated with such a tale. While I haven't read "Vampyre" or "Varney the Vampire," Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla, and I can definitely tell you that there was a lot of. After all, the original language of both Carmilla and Dracula is that it's "an affliction," and as things went on we learned that the source of the affliction was, naturally, our dear count himself. Eventually this symbolism is what led to the Richard Matheson classic, I am Legend, and the movie version, The Last Man on Earth. In the book and subsequent film, the vampires were created by a human created virus gone rogue and turning most of mankind into a pack of savage "vampires." This idea, of an undead creating virus really hit it off with everyone's favorite two zombie flicks "Night of the Living Dead," and "Dawn of the Dead." After all, the lifetaker as personification of virus hasn't gone away. Far from it, in fact, this symbolism has taken on a whole new dimension in the world the zika virus, and the swine and bird flus. It doesn't help that we've crammed ourselves into cities, making such places claustrophobic, nor does the idea that cities are inherently dirty help the presence of disease. This isn't even going into the likes of yellow fever and the spanish flu, both of which the world was undoubtedly still reeling from during Matheson's time. Even small diseases, like strep throat or the common cold are simple reminders of the very real existence of disease in this world. Disease is a part of human existence, whether we like it or not. Death and Deathly Evils But to die as lovers may--to die together, so that they may live together. "Of course, just like disease, death is one of those things that you we as a species have a hard time coping with, or even completely understanding. Take for example the idea that the fingernails and hair continue to grow after we die. Even to this day, that concept continues to live on. How about the idea of corpses bloating with gas or even apparently moving here or there without any understanding of why. Rigor Mortis certainly must have been one of those major questions that made you wonder just what the hell way going to happen when someone woke up. Hell, it isn’t uncommon to find graves in certain parts of eastern Europe whose bodies contained a single iron rod to keep them from becoming a monster. Death is one of those things that continues to vex us, especially if it came suddenly and unexpectedly, such as many early cases of suddenly infant death syndrome. Lord knows what it must have been like to witness the first heart attack. It must have seemed like someone was literally just dying for no apparent reason. As mentioned before, in a world where people had no proper explanation for anything, it’s hard to know what exactly to do to prevent it, and when people seem to flop about for no apparent reason, that had to be a special kind of scary. In the original Carmilla, Carmilla was said to reside in a coffin during the night. In Dracula, when Lucy becomes bitten, the main characters do everything in their power to try and keep her from becoming a monster. It's telling, too, that most Romero's flicks, as well as one of the most popular television sereis have the word "dead" in them. "In both Night of the Living" and "Dawn of the Dead," there are pivotal scenes where characters who have been bitten turn into the very creatures who have been assaulting our protagonists throughout the entire film. In the Walking Dead universe, at least in the television-verse, it's also telling that even those who haven't been bitten by a walker can become one. Whether intentional or just an excuse for the world to have become so overwhelmed so quickly, this reflects the ways that the original life takers could take form. It's telling, too, that the first person to come back as a walker after being killed by a person is Shane, the member of the group who is arguably the most guilty of sin, having both slept with his comatose yet still living friend's wife and leaving a man to be killed by the walkers. This reflects how it was those who were sinful in life that become the undead after their body has stopped working. The (metaphorical) Monsters Within usThey're us. We're them and they're us. In my opinion, the lifetaker has what you could call two different sides of the same coin. The first being that of disease, and the second is that they sort of represent, out of a lack of a better term, societal taboos, or even things that are necessary and yet at the same time taboo. As I mentioned in both my vampire and zombie overview, each represents many of the taboos of the world that were present at the time of their creation. Vampires were the sheer excess of alcoholism and sexuality given form in the cases of Dracula, Lestat, Carmilla, and even Edward Cullen. Zombies represent what happens when we let go of all pretenses and look out solely for number one, whether it be the selfishness that comes with consumerism or the fact that once the fabric of society falls to pieces, we’re forced to come to grips with the fact that we may have to do somethings that we aren’t proud of. The reasons for this, I would argue, are two fold. The first is that we need some sort of scapegoat, some sort of dark figure to be the form of sin. We need for there to be a consequence, whether it be becoming a monster or the monster getting us of succumbing to our. It’s not dissimilar from how the original boogy-man was meant to be a figure to scare kids into not being bad. The other reason is, I’d argue, is as a sort of syphoning of the things that are taboo, and yet are perhaps necessary or even desirious into a singular form. Sometimes it’s to fetishize, sometimes it’s to decry. Take the vampire for example. During the vampire’s early years as gothic monster, the vampire were seen beings of sheer sexuality, or at least Dracula and Carmilla were. Keep in mind that the Victorian era was one of repressed sexual desire, one where the scientific discovers of the enlightenment somehow managed to mix their way into the cruel limitations of Christian understanding into the ideas of what’s “proper.” We see this as well with other forms of this myth throughout the world. Take the wendigo in all of its’ forms, for example. The wendigo of Native American lore was a creature that was said to have been spawned by the consumption of another human being. Now while we still look down upon cannibalism to this day, there's a very real chance that communal societies would've been especially repulsed by the concept of the communal Algonquin peoples. That being said, people may have had to resort to it out in the cold wastes. There's even what is referred to as "Wendigo Psychosis" in which people will use the Wendigo as an excuse for their desperate acts, or perhaps even their brutality. And then there's the bramarakshasa of Hindu mythology. These cannibalistic beings were once Brahmen, the highest of the Indian castes, who either refused to share their knowledge with others or who used their knowledge for selfish ends. The Brahmen are, after all, instructed to share their knowledge with others as long as they can. This doubles as a sort of perversion the idea of reincarnation. While it's possible for you to come back in another life as something animalistic, hell you can even come back as a fly, it could almost be argued that it'd be better to come back as a fly rather than this grotesque perversion of humanity. And while this does sound like it wouldn't be the best place to go for a romantic love interest, a Bollywood horror show has actually managed just that. More recently with zombies, the original Night of the Living Dead was about how beneath our veneers of civility, we’re just as cruel as can be, eating eachother with reckless abandon and stabbing our own parents. It was the undoing of everything that we thought we knew about the world. This concept is taken one step further when Dawn of the Dead came about, saying how consumerism, the purist expression of the free market, the thing that, at least for a little while, separated us from those damned, dirty commies, is making us mindless, worried only about what we can get. In the current era of 28 Days Later and the Walking Dead, zombies naturally represent what happens when we strip away any pretenses of the idea of humanity being "civalized." In essence, Zombies are a representation of selfishness and greed and corrupt a person. In Dawn, the Zombies haunt the mall even in death, and in Walking Dead and 28 Days Later, very real parallels are made several times between the living and the dead. As for other living dead, I think special mention has to be given to the original zombies. Before Romero’s treatment, in which they became more what could be “ghouls,” zombies were the creation of hatian voodoo culture. They were a mixture of what little mythology from their homelands African slaves could retain beneath the chains and whips of slavery, and their very experiences as slaves. I suppose I should specify that while the original zombies were reanimated corpses, they were actually created to be the soulless puppets of their raisers, their bodies forced to do menial tasks even in death. Think about how scary that must be to someone who undoubtedly had living relatives who were slaves, or may have even been a slave themselves. It’s bad enough that your life is spent in bondage, but your body is not even allowed rest when your soul departs it. You’re a slave in life and in death. The monsters society create are the projection of the very real monsters that society either frowns upon or secretly needs in spite of itself. Or even those that it knows are wrong but does anyway. There's also the significantly more well known Jiangshi, otherwise known as the chinese vampire in the west. These resurrected corpses were said to hop towards their intended victims, their fingernails longer from due to the (untrue) notion that the fingernails continue growing after death, and to suck the chi (the lifeforce) right out of them. It's telling that the jiangshi legend grew out of a legend about someone who, due to being buried away from their village, is reanimated and made hop all the way back home with a daoist magician. Keep in mind that, at least according to the Master, traveling away from home was considered unnecessary at best. It could even be argued that taveling away from home was how the jiangshi came to be. Something else to keep in mind is that while jiangshi were traditionally just western vampires for a while in hong kong cinema, it was during the fifth generation of chinese film making, the era when chinese cinema was becoming increasingly nostalgic for the pre-communist era china, that the jiangshi became their old selves again.
IntroductionsSo, funny story. As you can probably imagine, these posts take me a bit of a while to write proper, if only because I’m not the bestest at keeping up with my writing. Which should come as no surprise to anyone who read my Vampire breakdown and noticed that it came rather late in the October season. Now, if you recall, I did, in fact promise that I would do a proper breakdown for everyone’s favorite shambling corpses, Zombies. Oh zombies. It feels like we can't go a good five feet without running into shambling corpses looking to saciate their taste for human flesh. Seriously, it's telling that zombies find themselves in everything from kids games to fracking romantic comedies (although the latter is pardoy). I'd say that they've officially joined the pantheon of classical creatures to fear, along with Vampires and Werewolves. And while All Hallows may have come and past like so much candy corn, I still feel I have something vaguely resembling an obligation to break down what it is that attracts people to the living dead, aside from loneliness. So here it is folks: part two of our exxceptionally late Halloween breakdown of the undead. Consumerism: on the Insatiably Hordes... And Zombies.Ah yes, the classic of classic tropes. Established, of course, by the master of Zombies himself, George Romero, in his second outing with the shambling hordes, Dawn of the Dead, this is arguably the first trope zombies represented. It makes perfect sense too, when you think about. I mean, think about it. A bunch of soulless fuckers who come in all shapes and sizes and who vaguely resemble people but who’s only goal in life is to consume? Makes perfect sense. I suppose that's what consumerism will turn people into. The selfish hordes who only care for their place, and not for the welfare of others. Shit, at time of writing, it's the week after black Friday and the insanity that entailed. And yes, I will freely admit that Never mind the fact that Romero set Dawn in a damned Mall. Part of what I liked so much about the original Dawn, as well, was that zombies came in so many different ethnicities and nationalities. They were a reminder that comsumerism is a group effort. That we’re all responsible for the unholy juggernaut that is consumerism. It's telling, as well, that one of the most iconic zombies from that film was a Hare Krishna zombie. Religion has become just another commodity (more so than before) that the masses may consume. A product that is advertised with just as much zeal as coca cola, with only slightly more actual feeling behind it. Romero naturally continues the trend with his 2005 opus, Land of the Dead, which tells the tale of a post-apocalyptic world where the rich get all of the good swag and the poor, huddled masses have to eche out a living down below, so to speak. Eventually the zombies wise up (yes, they get smart, if you can believe that) due to normal humans exploiting them and killing them off, and go and kill the fuckers off. In it's own very convoluted way,, this represents the idea that by intruding onto spaces where they don't belong, the rich will end up destroying us along with themselves. While note quite anti-consumerism, it's anti-corporatism which is definitely related, and which I can definitely get behind. That being said, due to the fact that people tend to lose perspective when you’re not careful, zombies slowly but surely creeped farther away from that. Which isn’t to say that it went away entirely. In fact, I’d argue that the continued presence of the military in schlockier versions of the zombie apocalypse, something you see in everything from the Resident Evil franchise and, to a degree, in the modern zombie classic, “28 Weeks Later.” After all, who are some of the biggest consumers out there but the american military. Thanks to the increasingly Captain Planet villain like nature of the Umbrella, this connection isn’t quite as tenable as it could be. After all, as evil as some corporations may be, they will not intentionally do immediate harm to the person they care the most about (aside from themselves): the consumer. As for 28 Weeks Later, while it does sort of make sense that they’d do all they could to prevent the spread of the virus, this is more an excuse for the US military to do their thing than anything else. There’s also a rather recent cliché where the zombies are created to be weapons (see [Prototype] for example). While not the most feasible, it does sort of make sense with regards to this theme. After all, it could thoroughly be argued that one of the major reasons that the military is sent out to various countries to destabalize the local power structure is, in addition to fixing our own goddamned messes, to make sure that our interests (see: oil) are taken care of. I think the best example of zombies as rampant consumerism in recent memory has to come from the first two “Dead Rising” games. In the first game, we learn that the zombies came about because a group of scientists were trying to increase meat production for the united states. When they fucked things up and transformed a peaceful Mexican village into an undead hellhole, the Army came in and killed everything to keep everything nice and quiet. So, naturally, one of the surviving villagers infects a small town. I love this set up, to be honest. It’s a great deconstruction of the literally destructive effects of consumerism, not to mention the imperialism that is inherent in the modern meat industry. It also decries how the majority of the united States's problems were due to the greed inherent in many of our international relations (take the creation of the Taliban as a result of the united States just using local villagers as an adhock military service. The second game continue’s the trend by having the reveal be that the outbreak was caused primarily by a drug company that wanted to make an anti-zombie vaccine called zombrex. You see, a large group of zombies is traditionally needed for zombrex to be made, and what better way to get a big old group of zombies together than to start an outbreak. It doesn’t hurt htat the outbreak has the added bonus of making a whole new batch of survivors who’ll need to precious drug to keep things going. As you can imagine, the entire game a is ginormous jab at the for-profit drug industry. After all, a drug that's made to prevent infection by infecting more people. It'd be like if HIV meds were made by using dead HIV victims. Ingenius in a twisted sort of way. Needless to say, I'm not the only prick on the internet to talk about this topic. If you're interested in topic and would like to see more about it, just google "zombies consumerism" into google and you'll get more results than the creators of walking dead merch would like to admit. The Undead ValleyAs per usual, I suppose it’s worth mentioning one of my favorite topics of discussion, something which I definitely should’ve added an addendum onto with regards to the previous breakdown: the uncanny valley. For those who don’t feel like revisiting my old post, I suppose a quick too long, didn’t read is in order. Basically, we have some set traits we think of when it comes to how human beings are supposed to act, and one of the easier ways to make people feel uneasy is by knowing how to subtly twist what we expect from people. Like whenever you see one of those creepy old dolls that look just a bit too realistic, or how in certain games the character models look like they're some sort of robot trying desperately to appear human. Zombies, and by extension vampires, resemble humans. They have four limbs and a face (mostly). That is until you see their shambling gait and the fact that they only communicate in groans, (or, occasionally, scream “brains.”) Naturally, this just makes us feel a little uneasy, our instincts confused as to whether what we’re seeing is properly human. And this is assuming that the aforementioned shambling horror still has most of it’s face in tact, which given a genre that features a metric fuck ton of cannibalism, isn’t a given. Yeah, no, there’s definitely something to be said for just how fucking unnerving it is to see someone who’s walking in spite of the fact of the fact that they’re missing an eyeball, and have bits of skin missing. Could anyone forget the first time we see a zombie in Night of the Living Dead? We know almost immediately that something is up. Naturally, our suspicions are only confirmed when we see the fucker attack one of the main characters. Or perhaps the first time that we see a zombie in the original Resident Evil game. The moment it's head turns around and we see that the fucker's got an unnatural greenish tint to it's skin and the color red on it's face. Of course, the reveal of the zombie is sort of a classic trope in zombie films. Thanks to a bit of dramatic irony, we know what's wrong with the person who seems a bit off, but the protagonist doesn't, at least until they start attacking. Shawn of the Dead even parodies it in the beginning where we meet a few zombies on their way home from a bender at a pub, and only later do the two losers realize that there might be something wrong with the fuckers around them when the push a woman onto a steak and she gets up like it's no biggie, and that it might not be alcohol related. The Ultimate Cannon FodderIncidentally, it is this very foreignness that makes them equal parts existential threat and cannon fodder. They're perfectly unnatural looking to be scary as hell, and if they get close, they'll eat the crap out of you. It doesn't hurt that they can believably spread to the point where things get out of hand. That being said, they're not particularly fast, giving you plenty of time to prepare a proper headshot, and when they are fast, they tend to be just as unresilient as all heck. In essence, they're perfect for mowing down in hordes, or just a few if we're being realistic. Your guilt over killing one is, of course, dependent on whether or not they were actually someone you used to care about, so murdering off the endless hoard is no major issue, so we know exactly when we need to feel guilty about them. They’re also nice and mindless, meaning that they’ll easily succumb to traps that are set, and nice and slow so there’s a realistic enough chance of killing them off even for amateur shooters. In essense, they’re the perfect fodder for killing off mindlessly and without anything resembling guilt. With Nazis, you're limited to the fact that omething that, say what you will about them, the resident evil films tapped into with total abandon. Some of the best parts are, of course, when the survivors and—let’s be honest here, major mary sue—Alice fight off the various bastardized versions of the undead that haunt the film’s several hours of running time. Hell, there’s an entire genre of videogames devoted to the wholesale slaughter of various undead hordes. Romero himself is, of course, a major fan of this, having various survivors doing their damndest to think of more and more ridiculous methods for dispatching the undead. Even Walkind Dead and 28 days Later get in on the act. The show regularly features scenes, particularly with Darryl and Michonne where the two dispatch the undead in particularly gory and satisfying ways, with Darryl even taking out a walker with absolute ease. And then there's the scene where the soldiers decide to murder themselves some scary infected, killing them off with a combination of a minefield and some good, old fashioned shooting. Of course, the scene is played for twisted irony, and is used as an indication of the soldier's twisted, increasingly harmful masculinity, and how this constant onslaught of undead has driven them to become cold and cruel. Of course, if it wasn't obvious from that last paragraph, the fact that they’re mindless, unstoppable killing machines is sort of a double-edged sword. The Unstoppable DeadThe thing that really makes zombies a threat is the fact that their mindlessness makes them all the scarier, whether they be the classical shambling, decayed Romero variety, or the new-fangled, speedy, screaming Boyle variety. With the Romero variety, they’re sort of like more fleshy, only slightly more killable terminators. They care for only thing and that is the consumption of your flesh. They cannot be bargained with, they do not feel pain, and there’s only way to kill them: shooting them in the head, which as any marksman will tell you, is a tricky shot at best. Think of the endless scenes in the walking dead where they've stabbed a walker, but for whatever reason they just won't go down. Now imagine hundreds of those bastards wandering around like so many unstoppable monsters. And as for the Boyle variety, well, you’d better hope you got your cardio in. These things, while a bit more reliably killable than their romero counterparts, will run at you full tilt, and unlike normal humans, don’t stop. At all. It doesn’t hurt that they’re a lot more animalistic, and tend to growl as opposed to their classic compatriots. They’re more some sort of deranged predator that just so happens to look like a human being. These aren't human beings but screaming monsters who only vaguely look familiar. What's worse is that they're fast, meaning that you'd better have something ready just in case things go awry. And even if you do manage to fight either variation off, you've still got the very real threat of becoming the very thing you've fought against. Which brings us to our next topic... Does that Zombie look familiar?This brings us to the something else I should have covered in the vampire breakdown: the idea that anyone, at any point, could become an enemy. While this has been something of a running theme in scary movies since invasion of the body snatchers, it was the zombie film that really took it to the next level. I mean, think about it. Being transmitted via disease could mean that the very person who you've spent your whole life caring for could at any moment become a bloodthirsty monster. Unlike the classic body snatchers, though, this typically isn't played for paranoia so mcuh as it is for drama. Take the little girl from the poor little girl in Night of the Living Dead who came back and murdered her own mother with a fucking spade. There was no doubt in our minds that something was wrong with her the moment she came back. In fact, if anything, we knew from the beginning that somehting was going on with her. Recently, this has been one of the major themes of the Walking Dead. Could anyone forget the horror upon finding that poor Sophia had become a walker (assuming that this post hasn't spoiled that for you). Or even that Merle, who we were finally getting around to having some respect for, had those haunting yellow eyes. This isn’t even going into the classic scene in the original 28 Days Later where poor Frank, the major backbone of the survivors gets a drop of infected blood in his eye and has mere seconds to apologize to his daughter and get his fellow survivors as far away from others as humanly possible before becoming a raving blood puking monster. Or in the sequel when Don Harris becomes a monster that his conscience always told him he was when he becomes infected by his immune wife. The idea that you could become the very monster that has been plaguing you and your friends for quite a while is something that is, existentially, terrifying. The idea of losing who we are as a person is arguably one of man's greatest fears in life, this side of the dark. After all, as advanced as we are these days, we still worry ourselves to death about the possibility of getting alzheimers or whatever disease is driving people to forgetfulness. This takes us nicely to our next topic. You should get that bite looked at: the Zombie VIRUSLike vampires before them, Zombies represent the very real, very current state of the fear of infection. If you ever look around for cheam, schlocky zombie movies, you’re bound to find at least one with a biohazard symbol on it. It’s telling, as well, that aside from zombies themselves, that you’re most likely to see someone with a gas mask. Of course, we know why this is. Zombies, like vampires before them, represent disease. For, inspite of the various advances the medical community has made with the likes of vaccines and anti-biotics, mankind still has as much to fear from diseases these days. Can anyone forget the whole bird and swine flu epidemics? Or how about the various articles talking about how the increased usage of hand sanitizer will slowly but surely create bacteria that will become so powerful that it will become resistant to anti-biotic agents like a fucking super bacteria. While disease may be better understood these days than back when vampires were thought up, it it still just as feared, and still just as present in our day to day lives as ever, especially if you're a parent. In the original NLD, there is much made of the fact that we really don't have any idea what was the cuase of the virus, except that it was a virus and that the fuckers would still move around even if you hacked their arms and legs off. That being sadi, it was really brought to the forefront with the Resident Evil franchise. Due to the genetic engineering of the T-virus and it's various strains, we were given a perfectly good reason why there are not only zombie dogs but also weird looking fuckers with exposed brains and tongues like Gene Simmons. Hell, in the game's native Japan, it was originally called "Biohazard." We even see plenty of lab equipment and testubes and such present throughout the game, giving us a feeling that this was something made by man. And while there were a fair share of schlocky movies that explored this (Return of the Living Dead, for example), the film that really brought this bad boy to the fray was none other than really brought to the forefront with none other than the aforementioned 28 days later. Here, the between the presence of gas masks and the ever present fear that if you’re not careful, you’ll somehow become vaguely infected. I’d be remiss, of course, not to talk about how in the fourth season of the walking dead, one of the first enemies the group comes across aren’t the governor or Negan or whatever villain they’ve trotted out this time around, but disease. In the walking Dead TV universe, if you die you turn, no matter whether you were bitten or not. So, when a disease that can kill someone if you’re not careful comes about, then you’ve got a lot of trouble to deal with. And of course we have the Zombie Surival Guide/World War Z universe, a place where the idea of infection is brought to the forefront, if fact, if I'm not mistaken, the book even mentions that major reason for the outbreak was the fact that . If fact, while technically parody, when I first read the ZSG a good decade back, I became genuinely creeped out. Yeah, we’d just moved down to Georiga, and I was living in a stranger’s home at the time, but still. It’s telling that the made-up sections were so effective at building tension. And while I haven’t read the novel version, one of the things I liked so much about the movie version (yes, yes, I know, that isn’t exactly the favored version) is that it managed to show just how much chaos and madness would be going on in a world in which the zombie virus took place. One bite goes from an issue to a full on pandemic in the crowded streets of a major city within the moment that it hits ground zero. The ZIC: the Zombie Industrial ComplexNow while this title could actually make a great name for the industry that rather, rather ironically come up in the stead of the zombie craze, in this section, I intend to discuss the idea of the military presence in the zombie picture. As I may have mentioned before, zombies have been used as discussions for the horrors of capitalism for a while now. Here's the thing, through: like it or not, but our prison system is slowly but surely becoming more and more for profit. Now, I'm not sure when the theme of the army taking hold during the apocalypse started taking place. Perhaps it may have even been during Dawn of the Dead itself. That being sadi, when you get right down to it, the army finds itself entangled or even responsible for the the zombie onslaught at some point during an outbreak. What this signifies, naturally, could arguably be a breakdown of it's very own, especially seeing as how it's only natural that the fucking army would come by to take care of the mess that the zombie apocalypse. Now that I think about it, it could be argued that the army are a sort of reflection of the themes that that particular zombie tale is going, and are, at least in some ways, a representation of the overriding government has with regards to the outbreak proper. Depending on what role the government, or whoever their cronies may be, they may either be just as bad as the threat itself or may have been run down due to the presence of zombies proper. In Resident Evil, for example, there are significan militaristic themes with relations to the corporation itself, indicative of the games themes (yes, beneath the convoluted plots, those games are about something) of the overwhelming presence of the military industrial complex with regards to the outside world at large. And then we have the soldiers in Walking Dead that Merl and the governor's cronies come across. They're waiting for somet sort of sign, only for to be taken advantage of at the first chance they get. No longer is the government in charge here, but those who are taking over. The merciless and the manipulative. Those who see opportunity instead of companionship in their fellow man. It's telling too, that the Governor uses his new found tank for his own petty ends, as opposed to actually using it to protect the people that he now has to care about. I think my favorite example of this has to be in the 28 Days series. In 28 Days, for the majority of the film, the military are built up as this sort of last salvation, this last place that will surely be a safe haven. Of course, when the group gets to the coordinates given, they don't find any military present. Instead, they come across a whole field of nothing. While we do find out that the military are still present, it's only later that we learn that the military has lost all hope, and want one thing, and one thing only: women they can have fuck. No longer is the army out there to protect the people. Now they've just become a bucnh of selfish, hyper-masculine assholes. Again in 28 Weeks, the American military decides to start protecting the surivors of the initial outbreak. Of course, though, once things go tits up, so to speak, they start shooting up innocent civilians, reminding us that they're not there to protect the people but to keep the zombies from fucking things up. Again. The undead and human selfishness.They're us. We're them and they're us. The thing that I think that zombies reveal, especially these days, is humanity at it’s basest, it’s most cruel. I mean, think about it, when people are coming back as mindless monsters, the hardest thing to hold onto is your sense of right and wrong. Like it’s sibling genre, the post apocalypse tale, the zombie tale tells of what happens when the chips are down. When the thin fabric that holds society together falls to pieces right before our eyes, you’ve got to do whatever it takes to stay alive. At least that’s what you tell yourself as you’re killing innocents to get at their food and water.
As I may have mentioned, I am of the opinion that lifetakers--entities ranging from zombies to vampires and who are typically dundead--are typically representations of the darker aspects of our society in addition to disease, as I’m sure I pointed out when I brought up how zombism represents the consumerism, and yet the part of us that is, arguably still there. This has been with zombies since Night of the Living Dead. In fact, Night is arguably about the breakdown of our most basic understanding of the way the world works. People eating eachother with hapless abandon, little girls killing their own parents with fucking trowels. This is also reflected in the fact that the black guy, the one human being who happened to keep a calm head about him was mercilessly killed by some survivors for what I can only assume was shits and giggles. And while this arguably comes up in Dawn of the Dead, I think the best places that this comes up, is in I believe it was around season five that Glen said that they were no longer people but the walking dead. In a world where you’ll inevitably have to kill the person you love because they’ve become a monster, a part of you can’t help but die. It’s telling too, that the city where people are safe from the undead, that rick and the group have an impossible time becoming a part of things. After all, what did these people know about desperation? About how the world worked. One of the things I liked most about Darryl’s characterization of the series was that, if anything, the outbreak turned him into a better person. It’s funny that people were always asking him what he did before the outbreak, but in the end, it just turned out that he was a redneck stealing from people and shit. And then there’s 28 Days Later. It’s telling that in the climax of the film, not only is the final antagonist none other than the very army that the survivors were looking for, but that the main character ended up having to become something of a monster himself, sneaking around killing others. The aforementioned death of the could be seen as the point where hope ends and desperation creeps in. No longer is this world where things could possibly go back to "normal." There is no "normal" in this world, only those with the guns and the guts. In a way, this is what michael's final fight with the arm represents, with him running and hiding and generally acting like a slasher villain. He's forced to embrace the very darkness that they've been escaping as well. For one, when he free's the infected that the army had captive, it goes after it's compatriots instead of Michael, respresenting the line that he's crossed. It's telling to, that both of the girls thought that he was infected when they see him. I think one of my favorite lines in what I think is the vastly underrated Night of the Living Dead remake, the main character utters the lines up on top. Like it or not, creatures like that are dark shadows of both our own fears and our own dark nature. They're our greed, our cruelty and our selfishness given form, and we can't get enough of them. You know, I remember hearing somewhere that before Marvel, before the Godzilla Kaijuverse, there was a shared universe in the form of the Universal Monster Movies. Around the 40s or 50s, the various monsters of Dracula, Frankenstein('s Monster), Invisible Man, et. all, would occasionally team up or fight or go go-cart racing. And while that last one was made up, it's worth mentioning that Universal, in all their genius, decided that it would be a clever idea to bring that bad boy back, if only because it appears that they were trying to make this weird version where the monsters were superheroes. They even made the wise choice of trying using one of their lesser well-known franchises, The Mummy, as a jumping off point. This is a sound idea, reflecting Marvel's choice to bring out Iron Man, instead of say, Captain America or some other better known series, to help kick off their franchise (I'm looking at you Man of Steel). They also got up-and-(hopeful)-comer Sofia Boutella as the titural antagonist. Now, this could've worked. Sadly, though, the movie bombed like a battleshop, and the reasons were two-fold. The first, as anyone who saw the hillariously awful first trailer will tell you, was our main protagonist, or should I say the actor they got to play him: Mr. intensity himself, Tom Cruise. Don't get me wrong, the guys a good actor, but let's be honest here: the man's got an ego like you wouldn't believe. It didn't help that Cruise most likely made it so the script more revolved around him instead of, you know, the Mummy. The second issue was evident the moment the movie started. You see, while some of what the movie did initially made sense world-building wise, things were boned the moment Universal decided to make this just a trailer for future films instead of it's own thing. What makes this extra-hilarious is that there have been a decent handful of unofficial versions of this sort of thing way before Universal decided to be that one yahoo who chases after the bandwagon after most of the crowd has already made headway in their pursuit. You primarily see this with most urban fantasy novels that aren't written by Neil Gaiman. Everything from Twilight to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The most successful was, of course, The League of Extraordiary Gentlemen, the Graphic Novel, of course. Not the movie which, naturally lacked Mr. Moore's brutal edge. Yeah no, while I'll admit to looking back upon that film with a strange sort of nostalgia, it was and remains a piece of shit. The practical effects were terrible which was hilarious when you consider that American Werewolf came out a decade earlier. The characters felt flat compared to not only to their graphic novel counter-part, but their original novel counterparts. It also lacked some of the brutal, grungy details of the graphic novel, such as how Allan Quartermane was an opium addict or how the invisible man was found at an all girl's school filled to the brim with women who had gotten pregnant inspite of being virgins. Now, while I could go on about that stupid movie, something which I should totally do one of these day, that's not what I'm here to talk about today. I'm here to talk about the next best thing: Penny Dreadful, which, as I will get to later, was not perfect, is probably more worthy of having the title of "live action adaptation of LoEG" than it's actual film adaptation. If I were the cynical type (shut up, I'm not... mostly), I'd probably say that Penny Dreadful is probably one of the most well written, well acted, and best directed character insert fan fictions. To specify, Dreadful follows Vanessa Ives, a young woman who has a... complicated relationship with the forces of darkness. Together, with Sir Malcalm Murrey (father of Mina Murrey), his Senegalese manservant Sembene, an American gunslinger named Ethan Chandler (who's also a werewolf. Get it?), and an opium addicted Victor Frankenstein, they hunt the dark forces hunting miss Ives. Occasionally they find their own lives intertwined with those of an eccentric and aloof "young" man named Dorian Grey and a poor schlub by the name of John, who was put together by Mr. Frankenstein. Together, with our American Werewolf in London (holy shit, I just got that. I’m also not sure whether that’s intentional or not), If you're wracking your brain looking for what piece of fiction Miss Ives could be from, or, more realistically, checking google, then don't bother. She's made up. This is part of the reason why I said that this show feels a little like the worlds most well written, well produced fan-fictions. Another reason is Mina's characterization. Now iff you're wondering just what sort of person Ms. Ives is, well, I'd be tempted to tell you that she's a mary sue. For one thing, she's the main focus of (most) of the seasons, two out of three of which deal with vampires, and big D himself. She's even the reason why Mina Murrey, Dracula's infamous lover and (as you may have guessed) daughter of the aforementioned Malcalm, was kidnapped by him in the first place. It was solely because he was using her to get to Ms. Ives. Yeah, It doesn't help that Ms. Ives' personality changes from sure of herself society woman to unstable conduit of darkness in the blink of a fucking eye, and frankly, I'm not entirely sure whether or not this is complexity of character or the writers not being the best at their jobs. Another reason for my feeling this way is that, as I just pointed out, Dorian Grey, and Frankenstein’s Monster, here named John Claire, are in this. And if you’re wondering what, exactly their role in the show is, it’s to serve as bulletpoints, to say that "hey, these people were here," and to add somewhat unnecessary b- and c-plots. In fact, we spend a rather in-ordinate amount of time with both Misters Gray and Claire. Which isn’t to say that time isn’t necessarily well spent. While I’ve only ever seen two live-action portrayals of the infamous Dorian Gray, I can certainly say that this version is much closer to the character than the version we get in LoEG: the Film, if only because they don’t try to turn him into a fucking action star. And Claire definitely captures the haunted, poetic loneliness that makes the creature such an enduring figure, in spite of the 30s adaptation, and who, along with Deniro’s take, is probably one of my takes on the famous homunculus (though, I’ll admit to not having even watched the original 30s version). That being said, whenever sub-plots show their head, it usually indicates that they’ll be important, even if it’s just metaphorically, to the primary plot, at least in thriller-centric series. Or even just to give us a glimpse into what the various players are like when not engaged in the primary plot.Take the newspaper salesmen, and the various other characters that Watchmen shows us. They’re there to remind us of just what the effect of something like a nuclear strike would be, how many stories would be lost. Here, though? The biggest influences that Grey and Claire have on the plot is that Grey sleeps with Ethan out of the fucking blue, showing us why sometimes it’s best to let subtext remain subtext, and when Claire snaps Van Helsing’s neck because heaven forbid there should be too many characters that actually pay homage to the horror stories of old (also, Claire snaps the man’s neck military style, something which he does numerous times over the course of the series. Where the flying fuck did the poor bastard learn that trick wandering blindly through the streets of an uncaring and unloving London?) It doesn’t help that Dreadful that thing that American Horror Story and Glee do, where they try and crowbar in topical plot points/add diversity in what feels like the most token ways imaganeable, without putting that much thought into portrayals proper. The best example are Angelique and Ferdinand Lyle. The latter is what I could roughly describe as Van Helsing’s more minority oriented replacement, being both a Jew and gay, two things that were both uniquely disliked and at odds with one another during that particular time and place in history. It’s just a shame that they don't take proper advantage of this inherent contradiction. I mean, his character could've been interesting had they put a bit more thought into it. Judaism in some respects, at least at the time, was harder on homosexuality than christianity. It's also an even bigger shame he’s not exactly the most welcome portrayal of either, nor that these two portions of the man's. He’s aloof, cowardly, and flamboyant to the point of parody. He’s in what has to be one of the most transparent closets this side of a crystal version of the wardrobe from Narnia. It doesn’t help that he speaks with something of a lisp, something that was 19th century anti-semetic stereotype up there next to noses and usury. Angelique fairs a little better. A trans woman (transsexual) who becomes what I can only assume is one in a series of both male and female lovers for everyone’s favorite hedonist. She’s also a decently interesting character, too, if only because she isn’t quite as stereotypical as Lyle. It doesn’t hurt that some of the banter between her and Grey is genuinely entertaining and sounds like the sort of thing that would come out of an Oscar Wilde play. Here’s the thing, though, she feels a bit… out of place. Not that I expect a setting like this to be free from trans individuals. It’s just that they’re taking 21st century attitudes towards gender and sexuality and cramming it into a 19th setting. It also feels like she's the one person in the universe who's ever had this idea, (although it might just be that she's the one who pulled off the best). Now, it’s not like I’m one of those cretins who complains about how black people shouldn’t be in westerns because they don’t fit. Hell, I’m pretty sure queer (I’ll use this as a catch-all term for those of a gender/sexual minority) people have existed since people have existed. But the reason I’m getting so worked up about it here is that it’s inclusion feels thrown in for no good reason, nor have the best characterization. Minority characters are, at least in my book, at their best when the various portions of their identity come into conflict with one another. They're arguably an outsider in many ways, both to their original group and the outside world. Anyone who's ever watched something like School ties will know what I'm talking about. Either that or just mention it once and not let it destract from the story too much from that point on, like that kid in Paranorman for example. But Glee, AHS, and Dreadful just kind of take the middle rout, adding inclusion but no bothering to put in the effort to make it feel properly lasting, but making it too apparent to subtract from characterization. A great place where it feels like inclusion of those of nebulous gender identity was well thought out, and where it really meant something was in everyone’s favorite Tom Hardy-them-up, Taboo. Here we have Michael Godfrey, who main character, James Delaney, black-mails into snitching for him about the goings-on of the East India Company. The thing I like about Godfrey, aside from giving us a portrait of what the actual queer community was like in that era of history, he’s also one of the few morally upright individuals (by our standards anyway) in that show, on either side. Godfrey's not a killer, Godfrey's not out exploit anyone, Godfrey's not looking to advance any of their political goals. Godfrey just wants to live in peace. In fact, it's safe to say that Godfrey was better off before Delaney got his hands on them. Godfrey was living a good life in a Molly House until Delaney came along with his karambit and his top hat threatening to expose poor Godfrey to the ruthless, merciless pit of hellsnakes that was the East India Company I suppose I should back up here, because you may be under the impression that I don’t particularly like this show, if only due to the aforementioned issues. Well, believe it or not, but I do.
See, as pointless as I found Grey and Claire's sections, as I mentioned before, I did like bits and pieces of them I read both the Picture of Dorian Grey and Frankenstein, and if there’s one thing I can thoroughly say about this show is that it gets both. Grey is a character who, in spite of his veneer of sociability, is ultimately shallow. He’s the ultimate hedonist, never bothering to think too hard about his actions, lest his conscience catches up to him. The show captures this perfectly, although he’s more of upbeat in the show than his literary counterpart, and his sexuality is a bit more pronounced, as well. All of this being said, I think one of my favorite moments of his is when we see his famous picture. Now, the only rendition of the portrait I’ve seen over the years was from the aforementioned adaption of LoEG, which showed the picture as a decayed, skeletal thing, reflecting how Grey should’ve been dead and gone by then. This is an… alright portrayal of the titular portrait. Ignoring the fact that the movie forgets that you have to hurt the painting to hurt the man, it doesn’t really cover what the portrait obsorbs along with Grey’s age: his sins. The picture in Dreadful, however, shows the man for what he really is: a cowardly, skeletal wretch of a thing who deserves to be in chains. I love this on a symbolic level. It's one thing to show what happens when age takes place, but it's another to show spiritual degredation. That being said, I have to give a special shoutout to John Claire, Rory Kinnear’s brilliant take on the classic creature. Claire captures the sheer ennoie that the creature feels at being rejected solely for his look. He’s a man who known only the pure loneliness of being abandoned to the cruel, hateful world at large. He’s a shy, sad man who wants nothing more than to be with others, but is consumed by his fear of rejection, something he knows all too well. At the same time, his sadness has become an anger, an anger he isn't afraid to vent upon those who have done him wront, mainly the selfish, drug addicted Frankenstein. In this particular version, Frankie isn’t quite the panzy he is in his own book. While he abandons Claire, he continues his experiments, even creating a bride for the Claire (although they do forget that women have, you know, feelings). And lastly, I have to give a special shoutout to Miss Eva Green herself. You see, I have a bit of a special place in my heart for actors who are significantly underappreciated or aren't the conventional sort (Andy Serkis, Ron Perlman, Michael Ironside, Forrest Whittaker, the aforementioned Soufia Boutella, and any voice actor you care to mention) and to be completely honest, the major reason I was interested in Dreadful in the first place was that it starred miss Green herself. Ever since her starring role in Casino Royale, the Bond film that really got me interested in the Bond as a whole, I'd become intrigued with her unique beauty, and more unique intensity. And let me tell you that she does not dissappoint in Dreadful. While her character does go from sure-of-herself society woman to a woman losing her mind, she does each so perfectly, that she actually makes it work. You really do believe that Vanessa really does have these various sides to her. I'd also be remiss not to mention the scenes where Vanessa is locked away in an insane asylum due to her connection to the darkness. Here she captures the essence of someone who has been pushed and tortured and feels like she barely has anything resembling dignity left. If you're the type of person who enjoys show for their performances first and foremost, you will love this series, especially Miss Green. While it's far from perfect, it does enough well that I'd thoroughly recommend it to anyone with a hankering for some gothic drama. At least once you've finished binging Taboo. Holiday GreetingsWelp, it's that time of year again. Time to spend way too much on candy and costumes, all the while embracing what christians do best: coopting pagan beliefs into their own, while using it as a gigantic excuse to get drunk off their asses while spending way too much money. And believe it or not, but in spite of that admittedly cynical opening, I do genuinely enjoy All Hallows. No, i'm not the biggest Halloween fan, but I do have a killer Halloween playlist on youtube that I've already gotten tired of, despite of currently listening to it. And so, being the all American Halloween lover that I am, I decided to take this opportunity to discuss a theory that came to me over the years: the idea that vampires and zombies both come from the same sort of archetype: the undead. The undead symbolize humanity's ill-at-ease with death, coupled with a pervasive sin that society itself may be guilty of, but don't want to admit. But when I tried to sit down and break things down, I made that classic writer mistake and my words became so entangled by my own mind, that I didn't know where to even start with such a large, overbearing, all-consuming topic. So, like the director of a shonen-anime desperately waiting until the next chapter of the manga comes out, I decided to split things up a little. Today, I'll be breaking apart vampires like they were just exposed to sunlight, and the next post will be about everyone's favorite symbols of rampant consumerism that has, ultimately, become the very thing that they were satirizing. You got all that. Now, let's get analyzing. Vampirus: bloodborn (not that one)Just like their fellow contemporary life takers, zombies, vampires originally, and arguably, were meant to be sort of explanations of disease, as well as a way to sort of explain certain unexplainable (at the time) phenomenons related to death. If someone's hair and skin had grown in spite of being dead,, they may have been tormented by an evil. It makes sense when you don't have access to electron microscopes or . It’s telling, as well, that in early vampirism stories, it was said that people who were being fed on were “falling ill.” It certainly didn’t hurt that the Victorian era, when vampirism as we know it, was being codified, was when tuberculosis a large influx of tuberculosis. You know, that disease that makes you cough up blood. And of course, I'd be remiss to mention the appearance of aristocratic, as well as sexual elements in Vampire stories, and how, at least from what I can tell, certain STDs were associated with the exceptionally powerful. After all, that tall, brooding type is all interesting and fun, right up until strange sores start forming on your body (warning, the following link is NSFW). One of the earlier cinematic versions of this symbolism came in the form of F.W. Murno’s classic loose adaptation of the Dracula story, Nosferatu. Count Orlock, with his hunched, thin form, and shrewish bat-like face, was a far cry from the handsome, manipulative, Dracula who would regularly appear in public. It’s telling, also, in this version that Orlock’s creature of choice was not the bat, but the rat, that classic spreader of disease and death. It’s also telling that upon his arrival in Germany (Nosferatu was a German flick after all), the villagers come to slowly get infected with some mysterious disease, one that may or may not have something to do with the empty ship that recently made port, with a bunch of boxes full of rats. Now, while it’s easy to assume that this symbolism had died out over the years due to the invention of vaccines and the proliferation of safe sex techniques, it actually does occasionally show up now and then in the modern era. Take the Stephen King classic, Salem’s Lot for example. Here, the way that the citizens of the Lot find themselves slowly but surely becoming something inhuman sounds uncannily like some sort of illness, with them not wanting to get out of bad or feeling rather under the weather. And then we have Del Toro’s The Strain, which, while not perfect, combines many of the older traits of vampirism with many of it’s modern takes. The vampires of this tale act more like zombies (with goddamned probosces) than what you'd traditionally associate with a vampire. Even so, in the first season at least, we really do get a feeling for how the initially infected find themselves slowly but surely becoming less human right before their eyes. On that note, one of the major precursors of the zombie apocalypse is none other than "I am Legend," which itself is about how the world is ravaged by a virus that turns people into vampires. You even see echoes of this theme in the likes of schlocky action movies like Day Breakers and Ultraviolet. Sunlight and KryptoniteI think it was around the mid 2000s that the show Mr. Meaty premiered. Now, while the show lasted little more than a season from what I can understand. For whatever reason, one particular episode sticks out in my mind. The two main characters, sick and tired of being told not to do things at work like grill their underpants (don’t even ask me how that’s supposed to work) when they come across a vampire who allows them to live as immortal creatures of the night, free from the oppressions of social norms… right up until they slam into a glass barrier for trying to enter somewhere they didn’t get express permission to. While I didn’t bother watching the rest of the episode (TBH, that was one of those shows that was exceptionally grating) I do remember kind of getting what they were getting at. You see, when you’re a vampire, there are all sorts of hokey rules and regulations that come along with the territory. Initially, this might have been as a way to appease those who may have been afraid of the prospect of eldritch creatures that came to feast on your vital juices and turn you into one of their kin from thinking that their lives are meaningless when they could any moment rise from the grave, and start eating everyone they ever cared for. It also makes sense that garlic, one of those plants that were used for almost anything, would be used as a way to ward off the undead. It’s also reassuring that a dark creature like a vampire would be deterred simply by saying “this is my house, you’re not welcome.” When Dracula came along and added the concept of the vampire hunt to our cultural understaning, many of these things were undoubtedly brought along to make sure that normal humans had a decent chance against an eldritch abomination who could slip through doors with the ease that most people cross a threshold, or transform into fucking mist when he felt like it. Not unlike how superman could be made humble with a goddamned green rock. Before I continue, I get the innate feeling that you’re wondering where a primary vampire weakness is in all of this. After all, when most people think of a vampire’s primary weakness, they not only think of Garlic, steaks to the heart, manners (we'll get to that later), and anal retentive tendencies, but also that which I myself don’t get enough of: sunlight. Here’s the thing, though. Vampires being deathly averse to sunlight was only really a thing rather recently. While vampires always were nocturnal creatures, it was only with the creation of Murno’s “Nosferatu” that sunlight was bad for vampires, if only so that the main characters wife could have the most pre-feminist self-sacrifice imaginable. Over the years, and with the advent of better special effects, people decided to make it so that vampirism resulted in what happens to a chihuahua in a microwave when exposed to sun. The seventies and eighties brought bloody brutal special effects into the foray of cinema, allowing for werewolf transformations to be all the more visceral, and for vampire deaths to be all the more satisfying, or, later on, tragic. And while I don’t have the most info on the subject, my assumption is that part of this came with the advent of everyone’s favorite horror company, Hammer. Of course, like many things about the vampire myth, this has been turned on it’s head over the years, and I’m not talking about how certain vampire myths have been rejecting this whole notion over the years. I’m talking about how Interview with a Vampire gave us a look at how much it would suck if you weren’t able to see the sun at all. I think the film that explored this to the fullest was the aptly named “Let the Right One In.” In it, aside from the typical aversion to sunlight, there's also the fact that vampires cannot enter a domicile without express permission from those within. The primary vampire, Eli, is dared by their(I'm being gender neutral with Eli, due to the ambiguity of their gender within the film) friend into entering his house without permission, and when they reluctantly oblige blood start spilling from several of their orifices. This, along with a scene in which poor Eli pukes up candy, because she can’t eat anything that isn’t human blood, really shows just how much of her childhood has been taken by her vampirism. It a way, what was once a weakness to be exploited, is now a heavy price to pay for immortality. It has become a constant reminder of their condition. They cannot be a part of a part of humankind, no matter how hard they try. They are forever trapped in the night, forced to hunt down their next meal, which sadly, turns the poor person they've fed on into the thing that the vampire was to begin with, a miserable monster Something, Something, Carpetbagger PunAlright, confession time. I was a little reluctant to add in this particular trope, particularly because it didn't really show up until recently, and even then wasn't the most popular of vampire tropes (which is coming up). But I figured I'd cover it, nontheless, if only because it'd be a chance to give a shoutout to some classic Stephan king. Now, say what you will about Stephen King, but you’ve got to admit that the guy is undeniably influential. While his stories may, undoubtedly, get a little repetitive here and there, and his later work can be iffy, there are fewer books as influential of his as his second opus, ‘Salem’s Lot... at least when it comes to vampires. Aside from setting up his standard tale of the writer returning to his home town somewhere in Maine, which is conveniently hiding some dark secret, it put a genuinely unique, yet old school, twist on the Vampire. The tale went from one of a vampire who was sexy, to a monster who slowly but surely sets up the corruption of the town over a series of decades, so that his moment of triumph is so squick and brutal that it almost feels like you’d miss it if you blinked. the inhabitants of the titular Lot, until barely any of the citizenry isn’t a vampire. The comparison to the 50s classic, Invasion of the Body Snatchers had been made, one which I don’t think it undue. The slow corruption of the citizenry becomes a character in and of itself, as characters feel sick and unable to get out of bed one minute and become shambling, twisted versions of themselves in the length of a few pages. Salem’s Lot also set up the idea of vampirism as the consumption of the smalltown. While this arguably had it’s roots in Nosferatu, with the good Count exploiting the disease that he brought with him to the small German town to drink up the, this was more a classic take on the fear of the foreigner that caused the alien invasion story to flourish during the Red Scare, when people were afraid that someone other than us would be invading a place that wasn't their and acting like it was. While Lot and similar stories certainly retain certain elements of the invasion story, not to mention share the original take on vampires as creatures who retained barely anything of their former lives, Lot, at least, was more an exploration of the Vampirism as the town’s past coming back to effect the present, another theme that would become horse meat in King's bibliography. It also gave us how one man’s own greediness can ultimately lead to everyone’s downfall. We see the themes and motifs of Lot in several of the vampire tales that took inspiration from it, specifically, John Carpenter’s Vampires, 30 Days of Night, and The Strain. While Vampires was more about vampirism extermination as a business, it also explored how greed can, ultimately, corrupt even the most devout individuals. It also shared Salem’s Lot smalltown sensibilities, with the vampire killers sticking to small towns, and the vampires barely acting human. As for 30 days of Night, what made it interesting was the fact that it was, to a degree, Salem’s Lot—vampirism as a hiveminded invading force—but with the twist of being during a snowstorm. In this case, the blood suckers represent the cold itself, the film becoming more of a zombie tale than anything else. They are an oppressesive, never sleeping, never stopping force that kept trying their damndest to end the lives of the poor denizens of Barrow. Ask anyone who's ever had to live in cold conditions and they'll tell you that the cold is an ever present entity. And, of course, how can we forget the infamous “Strain.” Strain ups the ante considerably, adding more infected and more people, specifically in the form of New York, where we watch the infection go from localized disappearances into a full blown pandemic. Stupid Sexy VampiresNow, I want you to think of the average vampire. Now, you’ll either think of two things: a hunched monstrous thing with glowing red eyes and fangs like daggers, or you’ll think of a well quaffed gentlemen in dark attire who most likely doesn’t have a tan. But chances are more likely that you think of latter (although if you think of the latter sparkling, then you need hep), thanks to our good friend Dracula. While the vampire as sexual being existed before big D--just look at our lovely lady Carmilla--it was really Dracula that pushed the idea of Vampire as sexual desires made form, some of which were already covered and one which we shall cover later. Now, the reasons for this can vary. You could argue that it’s an evolution of the theme of vampire as symbol for disease, with the disease in this case being venereal in nature. After all, a disease that’s spread via the exchange of bodily fluids, exchanges typically done to the neck in a manner similar to kissing. Why does that sound so familiar? It could certainly be argued, as well, that this just a continuation of the Succubus/incubus myth, in that rampant sexuality is something to be shunned, as it is inherently dangerous, something that was a real thing during the time that Dracula’s time. It could also be argued that vampirism represents what could be violent sexuality, i.e., the predator/prey relationship that we typically see. Of course, it could be argued that Dracula was a reflection of that old-school myth that some outside force come and take away our women, one that is still brought up whenever our president (*gag*) brings up how Mexico is bringing over murders and rapists, and gosh darn it, if no one’s allowed to sexually exploit woman except for him. After all, Dracula is brainwashing his victims into “loving him.” It’s also telling that the aforementioned Carmilla, one the major influences for Dracula over the years, had a coded Lesbian as the titular antagonist, nor that her preferred victims are other young women. Of course, as the years went by, and the sexual revolution became a thing, vampirism as sexuality became an increasingly more complicated subject. It was, of course, during that interesting time called the seventies that gave us things like Blacula and the Vampire lovers, the latter of which itself itself was a loose take on the tale of Carmilla. Both of these films, in spite of their inherently exploitative nature, portrayed vampirism as a complicated topic. It was also around this time that we got what is probably one of the more unique versions of vampirism in the form of the book “Interview with a Vampire.” This, along with the film version that came along a couple of decades later, as well as the goth aesthetic movement of the 80s, were what really transformed the vampire into the object of sexual desire, as opposed to something to be shunned. Now that tall, mysterious figures were interesting, as opposed to off putting, vampirism became something almost rebellious in nature, not unlike witchcraft or Satanism. After all, most vampires, if they’re portrayed in modern times, are often portrayed as having a gothic sensibility, such as the baddies of Blade, or the Vamps of Underworld. This ultimately, and arguably, reached what could be called a point of parody with the Twilight series. See, Edward is a creep. He is. He ticks off several of the "problamatic" spouce check list. He watches Bella while she sleeps, gives creepy mixed signals, etc. And yet, this is played as a good thing. It would interesting, if Meyer wasn’t so unaware of just how toxic their relationship is. It takes all of the things I’ve discussed here, and confuses their use. Edward arguably represents the tension that comes with being unsure of whether or not it’s okay to have sex after marriage, which is hilarious, when you think about it. After all, it isn’t his sexuality that makes him someone to be afraid of, but his possessiveness with regards to Bella. The weird way he “compliments her,” the way he watches her while she sleeps. He, inadvertently, becomes a representation of the toxic possessiveness that can come with certain relationships. Without properly thinking it through, he’s supposed to be the ideal, but becomes the exact opposite. He’d arguably be a vampire in a very different way, if not for the fact that Meyer seems excessively unclear about what she was talking about. A Drinking ProblemSo I was talking with an old friend the other day, and I brought up how one of my OCs was a vampire who was the farthest thing from the classical “vampire aristocrat.” And he brings up the fact that, originally, vampires were a sort of cypher for the alcoholism. According to him, vampires, like many old school undead types, were the resurrected bodies of those who’d sinned. In this case, though, they were those who’d indulged just a bit too much in alcohol. Naturally, I was intrigued, and decided to do a bit of digging. While my digging didn’t get me quite get me what I wanted, it did make me realize one very major thing: the symbolism of vampirism equaling alcoholism has never truly gone away. In recent years, as well, I’d argue that it’s expanded to incorporate the concept of addiction in general. This makes sense, when you think about it. After all, in recent years, how is a vampire’s requirement for blood portrayed? Typically, they’re portrayed as a hunger, an insatiable desire that’s always there, and, in many variants, is something that could weaken our vampire if they’re not careful. In essence, an addiction (keep in mind that addiction messes with the desire part of your brain on a chemical level). Ask any recovering addict, especially when it comes to alcohol, and they’ll tell you that that is a challenge they face every day. They’ll also tell you that the alcohol recovery process is one that is always there. That’s why no one is ever a recovered addict. They’re just someone who happens to be someone who has to deal with the daily struggles of addiction, but is no longer that dependent upon the stuff. Now say what I will about Being Human (at least the UK version, I didn’t watch the US version), it did give us a clever look at how the main bad boy vampire was just a guy trying to get over what is quite apparently a rather troubled past, not to mention with how his slipping up ruins one poor girls future. This is reflected, as well, in The Strain, with Ephraim Goodweather, who’s alcoholism is most likely a callback to such symbolism, seeing as how the series crams several classic ideas about vampires, as well as some new ones into it's four seasons. Even Cassidy from Preacher, of all places, is arguably an exploration of this theme. I mean, it only makes sense that a man who puts more substances in his body than you’d find at a Columbian drug bust would also be a vampire. In the comics, he’s portrayed as manipulative asshole who’ll likely trick whoever he’s with at the time into getting into a drug-fueled stupor, no doubt a reflection of how people really act when they’re an addict. And then there’s the role of religion in the vampire myth. A vampire’s greatest weakness, at least classically, isn’t garlic, or even sunlight, but Christianity. A vampire coming your way? Make a cross with a pair of pencils and hope for the best. While this could certainly be a callback to the age when vampires were thought of to be unholy beasts, it could also be argued that its also a reflection of the classic idea that all you really need in life is God, not alcohol. To be fair, there is some basis in the role of religion in the recovery process. It isn’t uncommon for former addicts to be deeply religious in nature. There’s even the importance of the prayer for serenity in AA circles. It’s telling that the underlying import of religion stayed present in some, if not many, vampire myths. You see it in the likes of ‘Salem’s Lot to John Carpenter’s Vampires as well, both of which had heavy overtones of religion. Now, while a cynic would argue that the decline of the vampire as addict happened with Dracula, and that a very real argument could be made that while the original vampire (read: the decayed, corpse type) represented the sheer viciousness that can be addiction, it could also be argued that Dracula, and his sexy variants, are just a very different take on the same old same old. You see, to many budding addicts, addictive substances can appear as alluring, almost sexy. I mean, how often do you see sexy people in alcohol ads, or old school cigarette ads (before that whole illegality thing). I mean think about. Vampires, at least post-Dracula, were a sort of metaphor for an addictive substance’s evolution from enticingly seductive to horrifying monster over a period of time. This is also why vampires are always associated with sex. After all, it could be argued that vices tend to come in packs, so to speak, and where there’s a desire for illicit substances, there’s desire for sex. I mean, when it’s Tom Cruise pushing your vampirism, this sort of thinking only makes sense. We also have the ever abundant rules that vampires are forced to follow. I suppose it could be argued that this is, as well, a reflection of how restricting life can be when you're substence dependent. All of your life revolves around making sure you get another drink, another fix, etc. The less of it you have, the less clearly you can think, and the more you have, the more powerful you feel. You even, arguably, see this in the less traditional, modern vampire stories. As I mentioned above, one of themes of the vampire myth, especially in modern day stories, is how it can ravage communities. Now while this could arguably be seen as the classical fear of the outsider, it could equally be seen as the way that the introduction of illicit substances can ravage communities. After all, the east India Company, classically got an entire goddamned country addicted to opium. In modern times, the pushing of opiates has ravaged communities like you wouldn’t believe. Say what you will about Daybreakers, I wouldn’t blame you, but it did give us a great portrait of how Drug companies aren’t afraid to get people addicted for profitI wouldn’t blame you, but it did give us a great portrait of how Drug companies aren’t afraid to get people addicted for profit. It's telling, too, that the so-called blood riots in that film started with someone wanting more blood in their coffee (no, seriously). And then you have the relationship between vampires and children. It’s telling that many of the scariest so-called vampire hunters in fiction were either the children of vampires themselves or were infected at a young age. Everyone from Blade, to Castlevania’s Alucard, to The Strain’s Quinlan have nothing but anger towards their fellow vampires. After all, does this not echo the rather complicated relationship that the addicted have with their children, something that’s even brought up with sometimes recovering, sometimes currently, alcoholic Ephraim Goodweather and his son, Zach. Perhaps it’s only one’s children that can help someone remain sober? More likely, it shows just how much being the child addict can fuck up a child's childhood. Not to mention how addiction can almost be passed down from generations, if one isn't careful (keep in mind that there are people who are genetically inclined towards alcoholism) It could also be argued that Dhampirism is sort of like fetal alcohol syndrome, except not at all. We also have examples like Claudia from Interview with a Vampire to Eli, who is from one of my favorite vampire stories, Let the Right one in. It could be thoroughly argued that each represents the relationship that addictive substances has with children. As many a former addict will tell you, alcoholism started in childhood. In Claudia’s case, it’s how alcohol was often used to make children go to sleep in early days. It’s telling as well that, Lestat, at least, tries his best to keep Claudia a perfect little girl. I mean, Claudia even makes a rucus about the fact that he’s always getting her dolls. And then we have poor Eli. While vampirism is arguably more symbolic of sexual deviancy in this version, the effect that it has on poor Eli is everprsent. They are a slave to many of the things that make being a vampire so sucky. They’re unable to eat actual food, they’re reliant upon others to let them into an outside domain (hence the title) and they need an outside fellow to get blood for them. It could be argued that this represents how, for those who are hooked young, being substance relient at a young age destroys any hope of having a proper childhood. Something that I’m sure is a real issue for anyone who is an actual addict. 9/28/2017 Adaptation Recommendation: Sunstone, or how to actually write about BDSM without coming across as a complete idiotRead NowIntroductionsSo I get an email from this company called book bub which lists the occasional e-book sale. Now, while they do have the occasional bit of classic literature, or even classic sci-fi, one type of book that always seems to show up on these books is the inevitable kink book. Now, we all know the one that I’m talking about. It’s got some vague imagery related to the s&m scene, someone holding a whip or something to that effect. The description will usually be about some woman getting involved with some sketchy guy who happens to be have a thing for chains and whips. Now, we all know where this trend came from, right? I’ll give you a hint. It involves shades, and not the kind you’d see on Rupaul’s Drag Race, or even your average fantasy novel, either. 50 shades to be precise. Oh yes, ever since E.L. James’s handcuffed laden opus, the number of books dealing with themes of S&M have skyrocketed like “paranormal romance” novels in the late oughts, and which I assume have the same level of quality. Here’s the thing, though, like most things that actually exist in this world, yet hacky writers prefer to fetishize as opposed to do more research outside of a google search, there is a very personal, very cultural reason behind why chains and whips excite some people. Heck, some of the people who loath the 50 Shades series the most are people actually into S&M. If you listen to most of James’s interviews, or heard excerpts of the book it’s abundantly clear that all she knows about the subject comes from bad fan fiction (seriously, though, it’s never a good sign when Clive Barker did more research for his horror novel than you did for your fetish novel). But yeah, I know a decent bit about that community, if only thanks to having friends who are interested in it, and them doing a presentation at the local pride club. That’s not to say I pretend to be an expert, or that I'm into the lifestyle itself. I just know a decent amount about the subject. And while I’ll admit that I don’t dabble that much in the world of erotic bondage literature, there’s a feeling in my gut that if there was ever any piece of fiction that was the that got the mindset of someone who was into bondage, it would be none other than Stjepan "Shiniez" Šejić Sunstone. Disclaimer, yes, Imma dirty BoyAlright, let’s just get this out of the way. Yes this is an erotic internet comic. Yes, there’s plenty of tit, ass, and vagina. And yes, this was definitely designed with the male gaze in mind. Yeah, yeah, I read erotic stuff. That being said, something that is most often forgotten is that the genre of erotica does have legitimate defenders in the world. Just because something has “adult” themes doesn’t mean that it can’t be deep or talk about something of relevance. Take Fritz the Cat, for example. Yes, it's raunchy, but it's not above making the occasional clever social commentary. I know that this must seem like I’m the type of guy who says who that he reads stuff like playboy for the articles, but, believe it or not, there were people who genuinely read playboy for the articles. Something to keep in mind, as well, is that television has been overtly more sexual, especially since GoT’s premier. What I’m saying is that with a lot of these stories, people came for the spicy sex scenes, but stayed for the unique characters and the fantastical stories. So, Sunstone Sunstone follows the slice of life adventures of Lisa (not that one) and Ally, a sub-domme pairing who find themselves falling head over heel for one another rather quickly, despite being overtly straight. From there, we meet Ally’s cadre of S&M friends, not to mention learn more of Ally’s past failures and successes, as well as Lisa’s own past lovelife, and how she became intrigued by the lifestyle. In a way, it’s almost like a sort of S&M themed Archie, minus the love triangle… somewhat. But yeah, if there’s one thing that Sunstone get’s, it’s the BDSM subculture. There’s a great scene for example when the reasoning behind latex is given. It’s a great description of how Latex is almost like a second skin, bending, kneeding and almost going with the person wearing it. I think the thing that convinced me that Shiniez was speaking from experience, or at the very least knew what he was talking about had to be the following line: “That is what BDSM people are… behind all the pretense. Sexual Nerds. A bunch of sexual cosplayers and larpers really… we play roles.” I love this because that really described what BDSM was. I mean, if you ever overhear people who are into BDMS talk about it, it really does sound just like most other hobbies. BDSM isn’t some mystical, sex laden world of chains and whips. It’s a world of people who spend their free time thinking of what rope chaifs the least. Where an anime nerd may see a shovel and think of the stand arrow from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures, someone into the hobby would probably think of several ways they could either shove the handle, or the spade itself if they’re being extra kinky, up either their or their partner’s orifice. I think the scene that clinches it is when Ally is attending an S&M themed convention, and can’t help but make fun of the various crazy things she finds there. I bring this up because if there’s one thing nerds love to do, it’s compare themselves to other nerds, in an “I may be this, but at least I’m not this sort of way.” Most anime fans will say that while they may have watched all bajillion episodes of Bleach, but at least they’re not the type of fucker who has a body pillow and watches Boku no Pico (I’d put a link there, but to be honest, like 8chan the less you know the better). It also isn’t this all consuming thing. Like most things in life, it’s just something that just so happens to be hobby that people enjoy and that has, ironically a culture around it. There’s a great sense of duel identity that problably comes from the creator’s own love of comics. There’s also the massive, massive role that trust plays into in many of the story. Hell, Ally puts a massive, massive emphasis on the fact that she if you say her safe word, the game is done. Stop. The pause button is pressed, and the fantasy stops. One of the other major things I like about Sunstone, it’s how it rather subverts the clichés of the bondage book, particularly when it comes to our Domme character, Ally. While Ally is the more wealthy of the pair and does have an entire fucking room dominated (pun not entirely unintended) to her bondage shit, she’s hardly the mysterious figure that someone, like, say, Christian Gray is. Outside her and Lisa’s… play sessions, she’s a snarky, loudmouthed gamergirl who enjoys her a nice mmorpg. She also knows when to stop. If you’ve been reading this entire post and are still wonder just why in the hell a series about lesbian bondage would have a name like Sunstone, it’s because that’s Ally's safeword. That’s the point where she’s trained herself to literally stop incase things get too far in the fantasy, in case the pain comes to a head, and you’re not able to take it anymore. You say Sunstone, and the pause button is pressed. What is BDSM, after all, if not a slightly more elaborate version of a trust fall. You let yourself fall, trusting that that person will catch you. The sub is the person doing the falling, and the domme is the one doing the catching. There’s even a rather poignant scene around the end of the second arc about how Ally, to a degree, doesn’t entirely trust herself. And there’s also Lisa herself. While Ally may technically be her first domme, Lisa's hardly the virgin whore that someone like Anastasia is (Jesus, what kind of name even is Anastasia? What does she end up being a deposed Russian princess at the end of that fucking series?). She’s lost her virginity, and she’s well aware of the community. Hell, her main hobby is writing erotic fiction. The last thing I’d like to touch on in the series is Ally and Lisa’s relationship outside of the bedroom. You see, both had been very strictly heterosexual, but when the two meet and almost instantly hit it off, both can’t help but wonder whether what they feel is friendship. Hell, Ally has what is quite possibly a crisis of conscience before she asks if Lisa is interested in living with her (Ally in general tends to have trouble talking about things that are difficult to her). That, of course, is the tension in the story. Where are the boundries? is this a friends with benefits type situation, or is the line between playmate and lover starting to blur? I'll admit that it sounds a little cliche, but sometimes that's not necessarily a bad thing. After all, some cliches do resinate with people, such as the death of the father figure, or the importance of the love interest. My Adaptation RecommendationsAlright, so if I were gonna suggest how to get this bad boy off the ground, I’d probably start by saying that this is definitely something that would be preferable on something like Shotime, starz, or one of the other various other tv channels that can get away with R rated shit. While the series doesn’t focus too heavily on the actual sex acts themselves, I still think it would lose something if the kinky costumes weren’t, at the very least, kept in. One of the things that kind of takes away from something like "Preacher" is just how limiting being on AMC can be. It doesn't hurt that a decent chunk of the action takes place at an S&M themed establishment, something which
I think that a thorough emphasis should also be put on costume design. After all, this is a series about fetishism, and if there’s one thing that this series goes into great detail about, it’s the way that wearing certain clothing can make you practically feel like a different person. This goes doubly for the bondage and normal Ally and Lisa. I’d recommend an emphasis be placed on set, filming, and even make-up between the two parts of these character’s lives. This will make the scene I was talking about with Ally all the poignant, if it’s done when she’s looking all kinky and stuff. I'd also recommend that everyone involved in production be read up on the graphic novel itself, and not just some cliffnotes b.s., either. Perhaps even read up on some S&M philosophy. Also make sure that the person who's designing the costumes has a history with this kind of shit. After all, there are people both in real life and in Sunstone proper, who specialize in bondage gear, In fact, I'd even recommend getting a BDSM consultant, just to make sure everything's in order. Yes, I am recommending that a major studio hire what will most likely amount to a dominatrix to consult on a television series, however I think that it would be as appropriate as having a medical expert consult on any of the deluge of hospital dramas out there, or an asshole consult on "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia." Laslty, but certainly no leastly, I’d recommend that the treading lightly around is the fact that there are a couple of characters in the series that serve as the contrasts between erotic antics and normal people are portrayed as rather… interesting. If you’ve ever read certain types of queer literature then you’re probably rather familiar with the fact that in many of these stories, anyone who isn’t queer is an asshole. In these universes, decent human beings who also happen to be straight don’t seem to fucking exist (I'm looking at you YU+ME: Dream). Now while Sunstone doesn’t quite fall into the same pitfall, I’d definitely say that characters are either completely turned off by the subject of S&M or very secretly into it. There’s no middle ground of, "oh, that’s what you’re into, that’s interesting." You either think that it’s for insane people or you’re deep, deep into the scene. I mean, come on, not everyone in the world is either a complete stoner or got their knowledge of weed from Reefer Madness. Some just like to brag about how much they smoke, despite living in upper-middle-class suburban neighborhoods where culture goes to die. The World's Most Artfully Crafted B MovieYou know, maybe it’s just that I’d just watched it and don’t quite know what to make Covenant, although that might be, to be honest, the fact that my tone with regards to the film changed about half-way through. I think the best way to describe Covenant would be as the best B-movie this side of snakes on a Plane… minus the tongue and cheek attitude. Because make no mistake, this is not a well written film, and any of the aspects added to make the film more aesthetically pleasing came across less as artistically enthralling and more… pretentious… at least early on. I suppose I should back up a bit. You see, the film opens up with us learning the origin of David and how he was created in what can roughly be described as the sort of thing that would most likely be in Steve Jobs’ wettest of dreams, we cut to the crew of the Covenant. The covenant is one of those ships on a mission to terraform and do the whole song dance of start of making a colony. What makes the crew of the Covenant unique, however, was the fact that someone thought that it would be a good idea to make it consist entirely of couples, outside of the single Android. Now, anyone who’s ever worked with family, or even watched an episode of Kitchen nightmares, will tell you how bad of an idea this is. Working with a spouse, from what I can tell, tends to be something of a minefield. Add the fact that they’re in space, in charge of lord knows how many people in cryo sleep (and who’s pods are hanging like the clean clothing at a dry cleaners) and it’s not that hard to imagine why I’d be skeptical early on. And while you could make an argument for the idea that it was just Scott trying to hammer home the theme of creation and birth (which is done with all the subtlety that Metroid: Other M approaches the topic), I’d argue that putting symbolism before logic is the same goddamned thing that fucked over Alien Resurrection. And from there the bad decisions just keep piling up like dirty laundry. The new captain takes his new crew mourning the death of one of their own as a personal slight. The crew, instead of sending, say, a small party explore the planet, send the entire damned crew, oh, and just to add to the sheer stupid on display, they don’t even bother wearing, oh, I don’t know, environmental suits. Now I know what you’re thinking: “dude, have you never watched a slasher flick ever? Bad decisions are to be expected in these kinds of films, like male gaze focused fan service in comics.” Here’s the thing through; aside from being a horror movie, Covenant is trying to live up to the Alien Franchise's legacy as an intelligent sci-fi story. As I mentioned before, there’s a heavy emphasis on birth and such, and even if there wasn’t, this movie is way too high budget for that sort of excuse, (or maybe that’s the whole reason why it’s so poorly written). Here’s the thing though, around the half-way point, inspite of a good 45 of accumulated stupidity beforehand, actually started to genuinely enjoy the film. Incidentally, this is where we get the blood burster scene, which, dare I say it, puts the original chest burster scene to shame. Now this is definitely an interesting concept, if only because it takes the original chestburster concept, and almost modernizes it. The original Xeno felt a little too convenient, and I feel like this adds a certain understanding, even if the first back burster enters through one yahoo’s ears. Or strips it of its symbolic relevance. Yeah, let’s face it. We all know that the Xenos aren’t the most biologically viable organism out there. They were more pure rape imagery. Moving on, it turns out that everyone’s favorite android, David, has been on the planet no-fawna for a while now, and… well… let’s just say that he’s been a busy beaver. Yeah, spoiler alert, but, believe it or not, this bad boy of an Alien flick actually gives us a supposed origin for the xenos, at least in part. It’s just a shame that people continue on with the stupid decisions like the nitwits they are. I won’t spoil anything, but let’s just say that a certain scene, even with the addition of dramatic irony doesn’t do much to lessen the blow of the sheer stupidity of it all. There’s also a scene where David and the crew’s Android, Walter, duke it out, which is excessively out of place even in this mess of a film. While, yeah, there was a duke out between Ripley and the Queen in the second film, it felt more primordial, more animalistic. It felt more like a fight for survival between man and a primordial monster, like, say the fight between shark and Shaw in Jaws. Between two androids, we don’t really get that. They both feel evenly matched and two blatantly immortal individuals. Like, imagine if, right in the middle of something like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, one of the morons who was exploring the deep south turned out to be some super-trained badass Rambo mother fucker. While it would be awesome to see him and Leatherface duke it out, it would be significantly less eerie. A good horror film evokes a sense of desperation from the characters, even when someone survives an attack, or even kills the baddie, it wasn’t an "even" battle. It done out of a sense of sheer survival instinct. And a pair of milk spewing automatons does not evoke such a feeling. Okay, let it be immediately said that I may have gone a little overboard with that description. But yeah, in spite of the massive rant I just gave, this movie actually does have a lot of good things going for it: a resolution to how the xenos came into being, some incredible transformation scenes, and some beautiful (if not pretentious) shots. If Scott does decide to make more of these, I have the sneaking suspicion that it will just become its own universe, a la other “origin” series like “Hannibal,” or the like. Here’s the thing, though, I’d argue that, like Alien 3, as flawed as this film is, I think that it’s a proper stopping point for the film, if only because I dread how blatantly stupid characters can get from here. It’s bad enough that Wayland Yutani are massive idiots in the expanded universe, they don’t need to be in the main continuity. So on the off chance that you got around to reading my Breakdown of the Superhero genre, you may have noticed something missing. Or you may not have. Perhaps you even saw that there was little mention of something that felt… important. But yeah, it was only after having finished that bad boy that it finally occurred to me that I was missing something. Specifically, I was missing what is arguably the most obvious reason why people connect to superheroes, or at least the major overarching reason why superheroes have endured over the years (aside from copious marketing). You see, superheroes are often a loose collection of character traits and motifs, that coalesce into a vaguely solid image, not unlike the images of a pointalist painting. You see, superheroes represent ideals, things that we should strive for, or at the very least certain aspects of humanity. They are the physical embodiments of abstract concepts as “truth, justice, and the American way,” “protector of women and peace monger,” etc, and sometimes these are taken quite literally, believe it or not.
Do you remember how everyone got angry about how the new Superman didn’t feel like superman. And it wasn’t just little things like how they removed his classic hairdo or got rid of those undies. You see, here’s the thing: Zack Snyder didn’t get what made superman superman. While it could be argued that Superman had killed in the Richard Donner films, he very rarely did so in a manner so… visceral. He’s the big blue boyscout, and while he may occasionally cause collateral damage, he won’t openly let shit like what happened at the end of Man of Steel happen. It doesn't hurt that it felt like Man of Steel was trying to sell this weird grim-dark version of the big blue boyscout, with it's dark shades and disturbing imagery. What I’m getting at here is that while Snyder kind of got that there was Jesus symbolism to be found in Superman, he forgot that, along with that imagery, there’s the fact that he is, at his core, a good person. He is the embodiment of the idea that ultimate power does not corrupt. He is, ultimately, the big blue boyscout. And then we have what is his arguable counterpart, Batman. He is the one who allows himself to delve as deeply as possible into the psyche of the mad, of the irredeemable, and isn’t afraid to even use some of their tactics if need be. He is the thing that criminals fear, their fears of made form, that shadow in the dark just out of view who will spring given the chance. But he has a code, he has lines he will not cross, primarily killing (Snyder, I’m looking at you). This is part of why I liked the new Wonder Woman so much, if only because she didn’t seem to have the Frank Miller Comics that Snyder read to get most of his understanding of how the DC universe works. She is a protector, a wise woman, and prefers talking things out over the use of force. She represent the idea that everyone is important, and by extension isn’t afraid to be with normal people. At heart, though, she is a warrior, and is a skilled one at that, embracing her Amazonian heritage to kick ass when need be. The X-Men represent outsiders in all shapes and colors. They’re those who are outsiders and yet have power of their own. Whether it be because they are disabled, look different, or just have different kinds of mindsets, they are outsiders and they are here to stay. Contrasting this are characters like Spiderman. Spiderman represents, well, the struggle of those who desperately attempt to balance two very different aspects of their lives. Villains, in a way, become just another set of hassles. Annoying road blocks who are getting in the way of trying Peter Parker’s desperate bid to have a normal life. This is especially relevant to a character like the Kamalah Khan, the new Ms. Marvel. Aside from having to balance her Irani and American halves, she also has this whole being a superhero thing to contend with. Characters like this are relateable because they represent the very real struggle of having to balance the various portions of your life without the benefits of being exceptionally rich or having god like powers. Which isn’t to say that they usually find crime fighting automatically necessary. Sometimes they’ll have a very good reason for wanting to fight crime. And with that the understanding that they are, int heir own way powerful. Why else do you think that there’s so much guilt whenever Kamalah is around her parents, or that Matt Murdock is a devout catholic. There’s a feeling of obligation involved with many of these characters, as if it is our responsibility to fight crime. None personify this better than Peter Parker himself. He could have used his skills to stop a criminal, but he decided not. Now he’s down an Uncle. With great power indeed. You see what I’m getting at here, right. Just as the gods of old represented certain aspects of nature—the ocean (and horses), the skies (and fucking everything you see), the realm of the dead—so too do modern day superheroes represent idea and ideals. Why else do you think there are certain heroes and even villains that have very elemental powers. Flash is the master of speed (and even references Mercury with the original’s football helmet), Aquaman is the master of the ocean, Static shock is electricity personified. This is also why many characters of legend, including in more than a few cases literal gods, are found throughout comics. Their power and abilities have been updated for the modern time, making them just as relevant these days as they were millennia ago. This, of course, why the idea of the supervillain is such an integral part of the hero mythos. They oppose the hero not just in terms of strength or power, but in terms of idea. Lex Luthor and even the Joker aren’t that much of a match for their counterparts. If superman represents many of the good things about being an American—the multiculturalism, looking out for one another—then Lex Luthor represents the worst parts—xenophobic, greedy, ruthless. Joker, of course, is the chaos to batman’s order. He’s the happy face that lurks beneath true madness. He’s why you should never trust someone who says they have your best interests at heart. This is why, in spite of being unrelated to superman, Darkseid has become such an integral part of superman’s mythos. He is the tyranny to Superman’s truth justice, and the American way. He is ultimate power and ultimate corruption personified. You can see this with other hero/villain pairings as well. Magneto and his brotherhood are equally as much outsiders as Xavier and his X-men, and yet they take the anger that the world has thrown their way and turned it towards something aggressive and angry. The kingpin represents the almost insurmountable odds, the greed, and the brutality beneath the civility of the world he faces, and Bullseye, aside from someone with perfect eyesite, is someone who uses their gifts for murder and death. If Jessica Jones represents the fact that women don’t have to be sexy in comics, as well as the person who uncovers the dirty truths about the world, Purpleman represents the idea of dehumanizing others. While Jessica pretends not to give a shit, Purpleman is the womanizing, abusive creep who isn’t afraid to get his way. This is part of why the origin story is such a big deal for a super hero. The past builds and shapes us in ways that we don’t think too much about. Superman coming to grips with the fact that he is just as much a member of earth society as he is a kryptonian, thus becoming the all American super-hero. Peter Parker initially using his new-found spider powers to get cash instead of to help fight someone. Even Tony Stark coming to realize that his weapons weren’t making the world a safer place. These people become the symbols they do just as much because of their past as because of their powers. This is, of course, what Moore taps into whenever he adapts a character into his own, or even when creating his own. Swamp thing, for example, initially thought that he was a man who’d been turned into a plant, whereas it was actually the other way around. He was the living embodiment of the green, no longer human, just a ghost. Could you blame a guy for feeling alone if he were to realize that he wasn’t human at all. And then you have the characters of Watchmen. The three biggest are, of course, the Comedian, Rorschach, and Dr. Manhatten, each of which were realistic takes on what it would mean to be the archetype they represent. The comedian, an all American type, is a sociopathic maniac who has no qualms with raping his supposed teammate or gunning down the woman he got pregnant. I mean, would you expect anything less from someone who’s sponsored by the united States government during the Vietnam era. Rorschach, the badass loner, is a sociopath who mooches off of others, judges the shit out people, hardly ever bathes, and is not someone you’d look up to. I mean, the guy is pretty bluntly a deeply troubled man taking out his anger at his mother on the world. Dr. Manhatten, on the other hand, is your classic borderline god character, and is utterly alone because of it. When you’re a god, how are you supposed to relate to someone who doesn’t view the world on an almost microscopic level. Speaking from experience, loneliness can be an all consuming thing. It’s made all the worse when you feel that you’re the one for your loneliness, lashing yourself internally for your own supposed sins. In a way, this is part of the reason why I like Worm so much. You see, the thing about Worm, is that it takes a sort of opposite approach to things. It reveals how, beneath many of the ridiculous costumes and such, most of the characters are just troubled with psychological issues ranging from abuse to seeing the horrors of war. Like Moore’s work, it reveals the human core at the essence of most of these characters. It’s telling that most people got their powers during moments of emotional duress. Moments that are most likely to haunt someone for the rest of their life. One of the most interesting examples is a woman called Miss Militia who, as it turned out, was actually a victim of war crimes when she was forced to walk through a mine field for some insurgents. And then we have the character who ends up staying with the people who made her “trigger” who is certainly an… interesting character. In a way, many of the characters of Worm are tragic figures. When Taylor first triggers, she is desperately grasping at straws for someone, anyone to call a friend, but, in the end, she gets herself millions of tiny little friends. We have Rachel, aka Bitch, who can thoroughly relate to dogs, but has issues relating to people. Of course, most people don’t know this outright. After all, all of the blustering and such simply hides this fact. Naturally, this just makes it harder for “capes” to relate to others, leading to, lo and behold, more loneliness. Is it any wonder why most of the people in this universe become super villains. Introductions.So I was initially going to have this most recent post be about robots and the various things they represent, not to mention the various themes associated with them, however I hit one of those ungodly walls that we writers occasionally hit when we’re not careful. So instead of writing about how robots represent out struggles with the very definition of what it means to be human, not to mention the process by which people tend to dehumanize one another, I’d talk about why a certain type of anti-hero is my favorite. I know, the idea that a man has a preference for tough, scary people, what a concept. Here’s the thing, though, an anti-hero is technically just someone who isn’t traditionally “heroic.” Ignoring the issue that the idea of what it means to be heroic changes depending on era and culture, the anti-hero has definitely seen a resurgence, if only due to Tim Burton and Christopher Nolan’s take on Batman. This, of course, has brought about an endless succession of wanna-be’s and imitators, especially during the 90s. Here’s the thing, though, in spite of being at best normal heroes who wear dark and at worst winy pricks, there’s a particular type of anti-hero that I, at least, genuinely enjoy. Now most so-called antiheros are just guys who occasionally kill and who occasionally whine about shit, the kind I enjoy are, in their own ways, just as bad, if not worse than the socalled antagonists, and not that they’re villain protagonists, just that their means make you genuinely wonder about their sanity. To put it simply, most heros, you tend to keep reading/watching to see how they’ll get out whatever situation. With these “heroes” you keep watching to see what kind of fucked up shit they’ll do next. Which isn’t to say they don’t have a code, but that their code seems almost alien compared to others. In essence, these aren't people you look up to. These are people you run the flying hell away from. These are people you worry about meeting in a dark ally, or at the very least be reluctant to have dinner with them. That being said, I'm perfectly happy to be viewing them through the filter that is fiction. The PunisherNow I know what you're thinking: Really? The Punisher? The quintessential overdone "anti-hero." The guy who seems to scare baddies dickless in spite of being just a normal human. Here's the thing, though. While the Punisher might just be human—as opposed to many of his super-powered compatriots—it’s his inhumanity that really makes him a force to be feared. He can take a hit and keep on coming, true, but he takes no prisoners, whether they be his worst enemies or his best friends. This is a guy who will murder an old man solely to get the attention of several dozen Mafioso. While he’s known for his guns, his bread and butter is his skill with those weapons and the fact that he can take a hit and keep coming, it's his tactics that make him a force to be reconned with, not to mention his intensely black and white view of the world.. Say what I will about the 2004 film. Yeah it was slower and more boring than an employee instruction video not made by the Krusty Crab, but it got that the Punisher wasn’t afraid to, well, punish people. The scene where he’s prentending to cook a man’s back flesh off while actually touching him with a popsicle is certainly both scary and funny, but it’s just as a scary and funny as the scene where he attaches a man’s hand to a grenade, forcing him to keep it up, in spite of dying. He isn't afraid of to hurt others, and you're never cetain whether or not he'll leave you in peace or in pieces. GutsAnd then you have what can roughly be described as the Punisher's eastern equivalent, Guts, of the acclaimed manga, Berserk. Now, the thing about the universe of Berserk is that it’s a bit like Westeros, in that everything is exceptionally fucked up, up to and including the people. Royalty is regularly debaucherous in some manner, the church is corrupt (more so than in actual life), and the world is filled to the brim with half-demonic bastards who take pleasure in abusing the power they’re granted. And then there's the fact that several individuals have been making pacts with what could roughly be described as devils, turning themselves into grotesque monsters in exchange for power and immortality. Here’s the thing, though, Guts doesn’t care about trying to make the world a better place. In fact, in his own way, Guts is just as bad as the monsters he has to fight on a daily basis. Aside from being more than willing to murder the poor soldiers who would inevitably face a fate worse than death if they didn’t obey their superiors, it’s his fights with half-demons that really leave an impression. Early on, in fact, Guts takes on a particularly nasty half-snake half man, who makes the mistake of toying with Guts like he’s your usual pathetic human, only to get a face full of literal hand cannon, and then get sliced in half. And then, instead of delivering a killing blow, Guts tortures the helpless wretch, taunting it, all the while talking about how he’s sharing what it feels like to be “human” by making it feel pain. This is a fucker who willing to let himself get the shit beaten out of him on a regular basis, primarily so that he could turn eldritch abominations into the crumpled wrecks they inevitably leave their victims as. Guts will do anything, to win, no matter who he has to hurt, whether it be himself or innocent soldiers. He’s the kind of guy who, when you see a bunch of mooks being jersks, all you can wonder is what gruesome fate awaits them. One of my favorite scenes in the series is when Guts gives one woman what can roughly be described as the most brutal reality check this side of Tony Stark’s origin story. So fairly late into the manga, Guts ends up getting captured by some religious schmucks because the writer is like that, so when he manages to free himself, he kidnaps the head torturer and drags her along with him, burning their camp behind him. Now while she was initially kidnapped as a sort of human shield, Guts decides that this lady needs a taste of reality. So he decides to wait until demons become attracted to him (long story) and shows her just what demons look like. As he hacks his way through demons and monsters, he tells her that if the church was the ones who'd spawned these monstrosities, then she'd be all over it like nothing else. This is a guy who does not mince words, he doesn't give long, overly complicated explanations of his back story and lives solely to smash reality into the faces of anyone who crosses his path. LucyAnother western favorite of mind would have to be Lucy, from Elfen Lied. I think the best way to describe Lucy would be as the ultimate misanthrope. To clarify as sussinctly as possible, Lucy, is what is called a diclonious, sort of super-powered mutants who may or may not threaten to overtake humanity. The only way to tell a diclionious is the with horns on their head, that, to the unexpected, make her look like your standard issue anime catgirl, but let me assure that she’s anything but. What's more, she's the apparently the only one who can give birth. Here's the thing, though, she doesn't really care about any of this. She doesn't care what she is, or what others are. When she was young, a deep, deep distrust of humanity or anything sentient for that matter was instilled in her, She doesn’t care whether you’re a soldier come to kill her, whether you’re an innocent bistandard, or even whether you’re a fellow diclonius. She will slice you to bits like you’re nothing, and what little joy she gets out of life is reducing her enemies to little more than toys for her cold amusement. One of the earliest scenes in the show has Lucy escaping, and it sets the tone for the series pretty early on. A naked woman wearing a cyberpunk mask of some kind rips her way through most of the security sent to kill her like they’re tissue paper, and when a poor secretary stumbles her way into the insuing gun battle, her head is ripped off before she can evne realize there’s any danger. When it’s later revealed that the skeevy organization that was supposed out to stop the diclinii from taking over was actually harnessing their DNA to advance the human race or whatever, Lucy doesn’t give a shit. She tears the guy telling her--who also happens to have turned himself into a diclonous--a new one just like most of the other idiots stupid enough to get in her way. Lucy's world in one of death and cruelty, both by her own hand and by the hand of others. HelenaFor our next contestant, let's go back to the west, and, to a degree, two characters who are at least somewhat sympathetic, beginning with Orphan Black's Helena. Now, if you’ve never watched the UK’s Orphan Black, then I’d thoroughly recommend it, if only because of the stellar performances by one Tatiana Maslani. When I initially started watched it, I swore that the roles of the clones were being played by twins. But nope, it was all one actress playing a good half dozen different characters that feel like different characters, whether it be the ever sure of herself Sarah, the snoody Rachel, the stick-shoved-so-far-up-her-ass-it’s-amazing-she-can-bend-over Allison, or the quirky, loveable Cosima. However, if you’re like me, your favorite of the clones is Helena, the fighter of the bunch and obviously the scariest. Early on, she is technically an antagonist, programmed by a militeristic religious cult into murdering her way through other clones, which is probably when one of her most defining features make themselves apparent. You see, there's a sort of childlike innocence to Helena, as if she was never truly allowed to grow up. When she infiltrates a police station to get info on the clones, she gets distracted and starts eating a muffin. Whenever she kills someone, she leaves behind childish pictures, hinting that, in her own way, she tries to make the whole thing into a sort of twisted game. She even starts cutting her back into the pattern of a pair of angel wings, giving us a feeling that, until she comes to realize otherwise, she thinks that to be saintly, to be angelic, is to harm oneself (which, let’s be honest here, isn’t that much of a stretch for someone raised in her environement). as she’s about to murder fellow clone Rachel, we see her cut a Barbie doll’s hair until it looks like Rachels, implying that she envys her sisters in a way. She’s a troubled woman who was turned into a weapon. Early on, as well, we’re never certain whether she’ll end up befriending you, stabbing you, or removing someone’s genetically included tail and then dancing with it. When she switches sides, she still retains some of her brutality, not unafraid to murder someone even when giving birth. Which is definitely impressive. The creepy, eerie, music that plays whenever she does something like stab a nurse who’s just doing her job in face with a long ass needle certainly doesn't hurt matters. In essence, she's one of the few examples out there of a sympathetic "psychopathic woman-child." She's a ruthless murder, true, but she also just a scared, confused little girl. James DelanyAnother great example from recent television has to be what probably one of my favorite characters of 2017, James Delany of the awesome “Taboo.” Whereas western literature has always had a condescending fascination with the idea of the noble savage--a fascination that continues to live on in pretentious junk like James Cameron’s Avatar (come at me, nerds)—Taboo is much more interested in showing us a world of savage nobles. Keep in mind that this was the era of western expansion and the East India Company, an era in which people weren’t afraid of getting an entire country addicted to opium just so they could get some silks and some fucking tea. This is, of course, in contrast to the poofy wigs and ridiculous outfits everyone back then wore, not to mention how everything seemed so formal and precise, everyone ever afraid of their reputations.
In enters James Delany, who in isn’t afraid to get his hands or his reputation dirty. Unlike most of the characters on this list, I’m not afraid that, if I were to meet Delany, he’d kill or maim me. I’m more worried of the fact that he’d pressgang me into working for one of his mad cap schemes, and that at at least one point, I’d end up with a karambit at my throat. You see, like many of the characters on this list, James is of an almost single-minded mission. Unlike most of the characters on this list, he isn’t looking to “purge the world of evil” or avenge some slight against him. His mission: get land that rightfully belongs to him, and make a profit while doing so. In his way are only the British Empire, the fledgeling nation of United States of America, and the East India Company. Now one of the things that tend to mark a good anti-hero is the tendency to embrace the tactics of their enemies. And while this usually means murdering, torturing, et al, in Delany’s case, this means manipulation, intimidation and, to a degree, exploitation. He isn’t afraid to use a man’s duel identity as a crossdressing Molly to betray a company that would most likely filet him alive if they even heard that he was being unloyal. He isn’t afraid to intimidate the poor, elderly manservant who’s served his family at least since his father. And he isn’t afraid of getting himself captured by the East India, just so that he can squeeze them for favors. Part of what makes Delany so unique in his approach, however, is that he is perfectly honest and open about the fact that you’re little more than a means to an end for him. Whenever he recruits someone, he tells them “I have a use for you.” Unlike the many of the pompous pricks who rule the country, James Delany makes it abundantly clear that you’re nothing more than a tool to be exploited, which arguably makes him the most honest character in that show. This isn’t to say that James isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. Far from it. One of Delaney’s schticks is that when he kills someone personally, he leaves the remains brutalized for his enemies to find like the victims of a serial killer in Hannibal. Like the previously mentioned Guts, Delaney’s primary tactic in battle is allow his enemies to come close enough to think him defeated, only to surprise them with a Karambit to the chest. After that, he displays their body in a Macabre fashion like something out of Hannibal. Except that in this case, it abundantly clear to whoever found the body what the message is: do not fuck with James Delaney |
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AuthorHello all and Welcome to Jacob's Latter. Here I will be giving my opinions on everything from movies, video games and books to my general outlook on the world. Archives
January 2018
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